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Home / Entertainment

The 10 worst-reviewed films of 2016

news.com.au
13 Dec, 2016 06:00 AM5 mins to read

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Left to right: Owen Wilson plays Hansel, Ben Stiller plays Derek Zoolander and Penelope Cruz plays Valentina Valencia in Zoolander 2. Photo / Paramount Pictures

Left to right: Owen Wilson plays Hansel, Ben Stiller plays Derek Zoolander and Penelope Cruz plays Valentina Valencia in Zoolander 2. Photo / Paramount Pictures

If the list of the 10 worst-reviewed films of 2016 teaches us anything, it's that we often don't pay too much attention to reviews.

At least half of the films on this list - each one almost universally panned by critics, who encouraged viewers not to part with their hard-earned cash to see them - became Australian box office hits, raking in millions of dollars apiece.

Review aggregation website Metacritic pulls critic reviews from across the media and offers up a score out of 100 for a film based on those appraisals.

The best-reviewed film of 2016, Moonlight, was awarded a score of 99 out of 100.

The following films most certainly did not. We've weeded out some of the junk at the bottom of Metacritic's list, focusing on films that actually made an impact with Australian audiences:

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10. Zoolander 2

It's the sequel we didn't know we didn't want, coming 15 years after the original film and stuffed full of so many zany celebrity cameos in the hopes it would distract viewers from the fact it barely raised a chuckle.

Metacritic score: 34/100

Aussie box office: $5.3 million

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What we said at the time: "While Zoolander 2 isn't quite a match for its predecessor, in no way does it lessen the lunatic legacy of all that came before."

9. The Divergent Series: Allegiant

Aka I Can't Believe It's Not

The Hunger Games

. The ALDI of dystopian teen fantasy franchises, each outing of the Divergent series has been greeted with such declining interest that there's talk the final film,

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Ascendent

, will instead be a made-for-TV movie. Ouch.

Metacritic score: 33/100

Aussie box office: $4.2 million

What we said at the time: This "Plodding, pretentious and sometimes confusing"franchise has become "a chore to endure."

8. Ride Along 2

This Ice Cube / Kevin Hart buddy cop comedy was ... an acquired taste. Also one of five sequels in our top 10, proving that old adage that if at first you succeed, please give yourself a pat on the back and STOP TRYING.

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Metacritic score: 32/100

Aussie box office: $2.2 million

What we said at the time: "The first Ride Along was no great shakes, and the sequel's even less funny."

7. Independence Day: Resurgence

How did they get this so wrong? 20 years after the original film, this sequel wheeled out many of the original cast and tied them to a story that traded just as heavily on nostalgia as it did trying to outdo the stakes of the original film (this time around, the visiting spaceship is HALF THE BLOODY SIZE OF PLANET EARTH).

Will Smith wisely stayed away. Perhaps not so wisely, he did Suicide Squad instead.

Metacritic score: 32/100

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Aussie box office: $8.6 million

What we said at the time: "This sequel relies on the kind of bad dialogue and plot contrivances better left in the 20th century."

6. London Has Fallen

A big, brainless entry into the always-dependable 'Action Hero vs. Nasty Terrorist' genre, this Gerard Butler vehicle ... wasn't really all that bad? No? Just us?

Metacritic score: 28/100

Aussie box office: $4.5 million

What we said at the time: This "plain-wrapped, blood-soaked guilty pleasure ... delivers exactly what its target audience wants."

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5. Gods of Egypt

Some pundits suggested that this big budget fantasy film's limited box office success was due to its lack of star power - Gerard Butler (there he is again) received top billing in a cast largely made up of unknowns. Sure, there was that - there was also the fact that it just plain sucked.

Metacritic score: 25/100

Aussie box office: $1.9 million

What we said at the time: "A crummy Clash of the Titans clone with dodgy CGI."

4. The Do-Over

Is Netflix where 90s comedy stars go to die? Adam Sandler and David Spade team up as a couple of guys who fake their own deaths to start their lives again.

Metacritic score: 22/100

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Aussie box office: N/A, catch it on Netflix if you dare

What we said at the time: "Netflix has no regrets about its four-picture deal with Adam Sandler despite the horrendous reviews the movies have received."

3. Dirty Grandpa

Look, the best that can be said about this cinematic abomination is that Zac Efron is very, very nice to look at. Sadly, though, there is no Oscar category for 'Best abs' (yet).

Metacritic score: 18/100

Aussie box office: $4.5 million

What we said at the time: "Dirty Grandpa marks career low for Robert DeNiro"

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2. Mother's Day

This sappy latest entry into Garry Marshall's pantheon of literal 'date' movies

(New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day

) was a flick so half-arsed, even star Julia Roberts recycled her wig from a previous film.

Metacritic score: 18/100

Aussie box office: $4 million.

What we said at the time: "Botched gags and idiotic characters make Mother's Day a comedy flop."

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1. Nine Lives

OK, we're cheating a bit here - this stinker wasn't actually released in Australian cinemas, but it's too bizarre and poorly-rated not to include here.

Kevin Spacey plays a workaholic father who has his mind trapped inside of his daughter's new cat. Cute, huh? Did we... mention it's not a kid's film?

"You're better off watching a gif of a cat whose face is stuck in a slice of bread. It will save you $20 and a few hours of your time," wrote one critic. It actually made $43 million at the US box office against a $30 million budget, proving once more that nobody really pays attention to reviews anyway.

Metacritic score: 11/100

Aussie box office: N/A --look out for it in a DVD bargain bin near you.

What we said: We didn't. We'll endeavour to bring you more thorough coverage of films in which Kevin Spacey gets trapped inside household pets in 2017.

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