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Fuggedabout flowers, chocolates and whispering sweet nothings. Want to get a woman into bed? Make fun of yourself, says a report published in a British newspaper yesterday.
A psychological study into the art of seduction discovered the best technique to achieve romantic success is to adopt a self-deprecating
wit. And scientists believe foppish Hugh Grant is the perfect specimen. Seriously! He's the tried and tested lab rat - well, the characters he plays are.
Anthropologist Gil Greengross conducted a two-year study into the role of humour in seduction. His report reckons Grant's wry, self-deprecating humour (as seen in his character from the movie Notting Hill with Julia Roberts) is the best formula to use if seducing a woman. It's a real turn-on, apparently. Who knew? Well, it worked on Divine Brown.
"Studies show that a sense of humour is sexually attractive to women," Greengross said. "We've found that self-deprecating humour is the most attractive of all. It's a risky form of humour because it can draw attention to one's real faults, thereby diminishing the self-deprecator's status in the eyes of others," Greengross added.
Risk, schmisk. Faults, schmaults. You would never have found Casanova fretting about revealing any perceived character flaws while wooing the opposite sex into bed with the use of witty put-downs. Cass, surely a self-deprecator of the highest standard if this study is to be believed, chalked up some serious notches on his bed post.
But Casanova was confident and popular with the ladies. Greengross reckons that's vital if his technique is to be employed to woo women. In other words: do not attempt if your name is Nigel No-Mates. It could make "low-status individuals" appear "more pathetic" than they did before.
It's an interesting thing, humour. Studies show that the way males and females react to humour is quite different. Men prefer a woman who laughs at their jokes, while females tend to look for a man who makes them laugh.
Apparently women tend to laugh more when men are in the room, whereas men don't alter their laughter patterns much in the presence of women.
Of course, I believe some women are more susceptible to humour than others. Speaking from experience, nearly all the guys I've dated have excelled in the art of self-deprecation. But other women probably aren't so fussed about it. Being funny is not always a deal-breaker.
Surely if you date an All Black, humour is probably not on the top of your list of must-have qualities. Let's face it, irony and self-deprecation are not something the All Blacks do well (arguably amongst other things). With all the coaches and advisors they have on hand, it's surprising a fun tutor isn't in the stable. But then have you ever seen Graham Henry crack a smile? Robbie Deans on the other hand, is always grinning.
How important is humour to you in a relationship? I did a quick whip-round the office and asked the ladies which local personalities they find particularly funny, and thereby, particularly sexy. Here's our top ten:
Pictured above: Mike Myers, left, accepts the Lucille Ball Legacy of Laughter Award from Justin Timberlake. Photo / Kevork Djansezian