Steve Braunias: Horoscopes - part 2

Opinion

Part two of the only horoscope you need for 2015.

Cancer

(June 22-July 23)
Life is a marathon. Think of yourself as the person on the sideline with a bottle of water. Your helping ways reveal an essentially submissive nature; you'll find pleasure in that in 2015. Love's postcode is 1050, take bus 625 or 655. Spend more time in Remuera, Mission Bay, Kohimarama. Learn their ways. Tax avoidance gets bad press but don't believe every-thing you read. Weight loss is a dead loss. Pile it on, give it heaps, bro. Office politics is dirty politics. Who do you identify with more - Nicky Hager, or Cameron Slater?

Leo

(July 24-August 22)
Travel beckons. How do you feel about Warkworth? It's got a really good book shop. Approach your work like a craftsman. By the end of the year, you'll have the touch of an artist. You'll also face financial ruin. Romance will compensate. Someone is out there, calling your name - it's your matching pea in the green pod of love. Remember: looks aren't everything. An unscrupulous business dealing is likely to bring shame upon the family. Avoid a media scandal by going to Bill Ralston's PR firm. They'll make it go away.

Virgo

(August 23-September 22)

What a year this is going to be! The full range of your brilliant ideas will bear fruit all throughout 2015, and lead to a newer, happier you. Everyone else around you will feel better, too. Mind the small details - always use your credit card when you're at the supermarket and petrol station so the air points add up, that sort of thing. Small children are a constant delight, and the elderly have their uses. Avoid naysayers, Newmarket, and the unbaked cake selection at Little Bird. You're a sweet bird. Time to fly!

Libra

(September 23-October 23)
Work is intense. That's cool. You're intense, too. Show them who's boss - including the boss. As you climb the ladder, chop down the rungs beneath you. When the going gets tough, go shopping. If you happen to be in Wellington, Kirkcaldies carries stock every bit as good and expensive as Smith & Caughey's. Consider outings to Te Atatu. North, not south, obviously. Sleep is a friend. Frenzy's okay, too. An occasional binge on Class A never hurt anyone. Share it around, though. Remember: it's not about you, it's about all of us.

Scorpio

(October 24-November 22)
The only way to handle the raging budget of your household finances, with its mysterious withdrawals and its deposits that are never quite as much as you expected, is to close your eyes and get all Zen on your ass. Chill. Axe that spreadsheet. Head out to Miranda this summer. The bird watching is incredible, and so are the fish and chips at nearby Kaiua. 2015 bodes well for those in psychiatric care and office administration, less so for those in farm machinery and sporting goods. Exercise is important. Fitness is another thing entirely. Just do your best. At the end of the day, at least you're not John Key.

Sagittarius

(November 23-December 22)
"Anyone would think that this was some kind of a race or a competition with high prizes awarded to the winners and eternal shame conferred upon the losers. Yet there really is no need for hurry or worry now. Take time to relax today." The astrologer Jonathan Cainer wrote that about you recently, and he's DEAD WRONG. Panic. Act recklessly. Something good will come from arriving in Henderson and leaving New Lynn. A promotion at work is over someone's dead body. Send flowers. Can you read? The book everyone bought for Christmas, Madmen: The Weirdest Election Campaign Ever, will have you in fits.