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Home / Entertainment

Sindy, Bratz and a Lorde cameo: The top 5 potential Barbie cinematic knock-offs

Karl Puschmann
By Karl Puschmann
Freelance entertainment writer·NZ Herald·
17 Jul, 2023 06:00 PM6 mins to read

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Our actress wish list for the next wave of toy-based movies: Florence Pugh, Lorde and Zendaya. Photo / Getty Images

Our actress wish list for the next wave of toy-based movies: Florence Pugh, Lorde and Zendaya. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION:

Hollywood loves nothing more than a success story and director Greta Gerwig’s live-action Barbie movie is shaping up to be one of the biggest cinema successes of the year.

Margot Robbie’s portrayal of the plastic heroine and Ryan Gosling’s embrace of her beau Ken are already iconic and the movie hasn’t even hit cinemas yet.

So what better time to take a look at some other potential plastic properties that are prime candidates for jumping out of girls’ dollhouses and onto the big screen.

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Sindy

What: The British rival to Barbie was once more popular in ol’ Blighty than dear Barbs. However bad management of the brand, which included literal plastic surgery to remodel Sindy’s face with more Barbie-esque features when sales slowed, had a detrimental effect on her popularity from which the doll has never fully recovered.

Still, wherever Barbie went, Sindy was sure to follow meaning a movie surely can’t be too far away.

The movie: Having had the most success when she embraced her Britishness it only makes sense to take Sindy back to her UK roots. Like Barbie, any Sindy movie would need an indie spirit driving its commercial ambitions. For this, we’d call in the original fleabag herself, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, to both write the film and make her directorial debut with Sindy.

When it comes to playing the titular doll it could only be the spunky Florence Pugh. Of course, Sindy had her own Ken in the form of her boyfriend Paul. For this crucial role Robert Pattinson (The Batman), who can be considered the British Ryan Gosling, would Paul up.

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Jem & the Holograms

What: It boasted that it was truly outrageous but like many beloved 80s kids’ cartoons Jem & the Holograms was not much more than a glorified commercial for toys. But that didn’t stop it from being an after-school TV sensation.

The show followed Jem and her band The Holograms as they got into misadventures battling their evil band enemies The Misfits - who were sadly no relation to Glenn Danzig’s influential horror-punk band of the same name which would have been truly outrageous but a lot less successful with its target market of young girls.

The Movie: Jem gets her holographic powers from a computer called Synergy, which gives the film a great excuse to fill the screen with razzle-dazzle special effects. With both heroes and villains being in bands it would, naturally, be a musical. Aussie director Baz Luhrmann, the director of big-budget musicals like Moulin Rouge, The Great Gatsby and Romeo + Juliet, is unrivalled in this space making him the only man for the job.

Starring as Jem would be former Disney star turned muso star Olivia Rodrigo while her post-punk rival Pizzazz, leader of The Misfits, would see Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown taking a heel turn. We’d also have a cameo from Lorde. Just because.

Bratz

What: Conceived as a modern, trendy and fashion-forward take on Barbie’s wholesome schtick, the big-headed, wide-eyed Bratz slowly fought out a space for themselves in the Barbie-saturated doll market.

Not without controversy, there’s been many legal troubles over the years with accusations of everything from being overtly sexual to predatory packaging practices to encouraging girls to go on blind dates. On the flip side, the diversity of the four main Bratz has been applauded and was instrumental in ensuring the toy aisles weren’t filled only with pink plastic.

The movie: With one live-action film flop behind them already - a 2007 American comedy starring the Midnight Cowboy himself, Jon Voight - rebooting Bratz for the big screen is a gamble. However, with the right ensemble starring as the four main Bratz, the film could be a winner.

We’d again turn to Stranger Things and cast Maya Hawke as Chloe, Wednesday sensation Jenna Ortega would play Jasmine, Europhia’s Zendaya would star as Sasha and Jade would be played by Mulan’s Liu Yifei. We’d have comedy superstar Rose Matafeo pen the script and Creamerie’s Roseanne Liang direct.

Princess of Power

What: In the mid-80s toy manufacturer Mattel had taken over school playgrounds around the world with its Masters of the Universe range of action figures. Its popularity was boosted by a cartoon series that brought the world of Eternia and the epic struggle between musclebound goodie He-Man and the cackling villain Skeletor to life.

Hoping to replicate that success with girls, Mattel made a spin-off called Princess of Power. The titular heroine was the warrior princess, and He-Man’s long-lost twin sister, She-Ra who led a primarily female cast of characters against the nefarious villain Hordak. Like her twin brother, She-Ra’s adventures also came to life in her own cartoon series.

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The movie: With its fantasy world, imaginative allies and bizarre rogue’s gallery of villains Princess of Power lends itself to being a classic fantasy-adventure film in the style of classics like The Neverending Story, Labyrinth and the more recent Dungeons and Dragons movie. Our pick for director would be Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead), whose frenetic, highly charged style and boundless imagination could really run wild with the fantastical elements of the story.

Harnessing the power of She-Ra’s lightning bolt-shooting Sword of Protection would be Australian actress Elizabeth Debicki (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 & 3) whose towering 6.2 height makes her a formidable warrior princess. While many would call it a crime to bury him under a face-full of skeletal prosthetics we’d still go all out and cast Idris Elba as the scheming villain Hordak.

Monster High

What: Taking its cues from B-monster movies, sci-fi and campy horror this recent “fierce” doll franchise is prime for a big-screen adaptation. With its fashionable spin on monsters like vampires, werewolves and Frankenstein’s monster and themes of inclusion and diversity the franchise was a huge success for Mattel.

Its story follows a band of gal pals who happen to be the children of famous movie monsters. They go to a college that allows all to attend, as opposed to rival schools that segregate monsters. There was a live-action musical released straight to TV last year but we think that with the right people behind it Monster High could be a monster cinema hit.

The movie: For stylised spooky weirdness you have to turn to director Tim Burton who could really have some fun with the premise and look of the film - if that is, you could lure him away from churning out bland reimaginations for Disney.

Local actress Thomasin Mckenzie (Last Night in Soho) would fit the parts of Frankie Stein, Halle Bailey (The Little Mermaid) would sink her teeth into Draculaura, Keke Palmer (Nope) would tear into Clawdeen Wolf, Samara Weaving (Scream VI) would dive into Lagoona Blue and Iman Vellani (Ms Marvel) would wrap up the part of Cleo de Nile.

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* Barbie opens in cinemas nationwide on Thursday.



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