"Just by luck I get the award I've been wanting all my life and I'm completely hammered. Guys, who misses Zayn? We all get old but I've still got charisma"
After chuckles from the crowd, Cowell, who was joined by partner Lauren Silverman at the star-studded event, went on to thank the inventor of Botox.
"I want to say a special mention to somebody who made my TV career last 14 years, he's not here tonight but he deserves a special mention. It's the person who made Botox.
"You have no idea how much money you've made me, I can't even look surprised. But I love you wherever you are."
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The X Factor judge ended on a more positive note.
"It's been a really great, fun night, so thank you for your welcome and your sense of humour."
Simon was recognised for his contribution to the music and entertainment industry and his various charitable causes with stars coming out to praise their colleague and friend.
Fellow X Factor presenter Caroline Flack said: "He's someone who makes you feel good whenever you talk to him."
Performances on the night came from Labrinth, Leona Lewis and Olly Murs.
- Bang! Showbiz