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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: October 22: New series of Frasier looks dark

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
21 Oct, 2015 04:00 PM4 mins to read

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Don't pull up to my bumper baby...

Don't pull up to my bumper baby...

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

True story, says Alf

"Captain Fred Ladd, a pilot, was well known to Aucklanders for his tourist trips up the Gulf and dropping off the Herald free to outlying farms and cottages," writes Alf Hoyle of Rotorua. "He was also the first to fly under the Auckland Harbour Bridge. He came to live in Rotorua in his latter years and once told me the story of how he used to supplement his income by buying a sack of live crayfish from fishermen up the Gulf and selling them on the pavement outside Mechanics Bay. Apparently the Ministry of Fisheries took a dim view of this and took him to court for selling fish without a licence. Fred came up with a classic defence: he told the judge he sold them as pets and what people did with them afterwards was no concern of his."

Bumper to bumper

Don't pull up to my bumper baby...
Don't pull up to my bumper baby...

A reader writes: "So Auckland Transport has no qualms about towing cars or issuing tickets when cars are parked 2mm over a driveway or parked 2 minutes longer in a clearway or pay carpark, but when it comes to a car parked on my bumper, and I'm unable to get out of that carpark, that is my problem. According to customer services at Auckland Transport there is nothing they can do about it. No revenue involved."

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Bonuses for beautiful berms

"Bugger Brown's bumbling, bureaucratic, beige, bull-headed bean counters!" declares Ian Hughes. "Their brash bullying towards berm beautification beggars belief. Rather than the blunt bludgeoning of those buoyant benefactors to our city's betterment by a blank and beige bill of 150 bucks we should be bestowing these blessed betterers with bonuses. What about 150 bucks off your rates if you beautify your bustling berm with beautiful bouquets or bushes bursting with berries, bananas, bees and butterflies? Better yet what about a biannual berm beautification competition? Best berm, best blooming neighbourhood? Let's better the bustling boundaries of our bright metropolis with beautiful berms, bringing bounty to both citizens and nature alike."

Reading a little too much into things ...

"Please could you explain to me what you decided was funny about one of the articles in your section this morning?" asks Clayton Imbs. "That someone can catch 'gay fever'? I continually get asked why so-called 'gays' make it such a big deal when someone declares themselves 'gay'. I can now point to yourself as an example, as you consider that being gay is somehow infectious, and that it is very important that if somehow you could be mistaken as being gay that you make it quite clear you are not."

Sneaky scam at the dairy
Sneaky scam at the dairy

Scam alert:

Not recognising the customer as a local, an Auckland dairy owner in a well-to-do suburb tried to short change his customer with this bit of jiggery-pokery. See the folded up change has a fiver apparently poking out from behind the tenet? Well, er, no actually. The fiver was not a full note but a corner cut off and taped to the tenner. The scam works because the dairy owner is counting on the customer not returning. Wouldn't do it to those recognised as regular.

Good read: "Since 1979, China's government has heavily taxed most citizens who have more than one child, an extremely effective method of population control that managed to more than cut the growth rate in half. But the policy's time is up. It was relaxed somewhat two years ago to allow more couples meeting certain requirements-such as one of them being an only child-to have a second child, and could be completely lifted before the year is up.." Read more here.

Video: If mothers talked to each other the way they talk to their kids...

Herald app users tap here for today's video.

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz?

Discover more

Opinion

Sideswipe: Honest restaurant

06 Oct 09:31 AM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Tonic with that?

07 Oct 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Let's have BBQ?

08 Oct 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: A real back-breaker

11 Oct 04:00 PM
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