How to get kicked out of the pet shop. Photo / Supplied
How to get kicked out of the pet shop. Photo / Supplied
Punchlines become endangered species
British Dad Nick Harvey regularly tweets about tormenting one of his sons by spoiling his jokes with facts. Here's some of what he's written:
Son: What do cows eat for breakfast? Me: Hang on a sec. (Googles): Farmers often use corn and soy as a base fortheir animal feed. These protein-rich grains help bring cows to market weight faster, and, because they're cheaper than other feed options, they ... Son: [sadly] Moosli. Son: What are caterpillars afraid of? Me: It's unlikely that they experience fear. They're not self-aware, so ... Son: [sadly] Dogerpillars. Son: How does Moses make tea? Me: Moses isn't alive, darling, and back then, I'm not even sure that people drank tea. Son: [sadly] Hebrews it.
A reader writes: "I thought you might be interested in the attached image of a product on both Bunnings' New Zealand and Australian websites. It shows identical garage door emergency access locks which in Australia cost A$19.98 ($21.29) and in New Zealand $54 (A$52.44) That's a big price difference ... No wonder we have an 'affordable' housing crisis."
Hashtag of the day #OnlineShoppingSongs
1. I would ship 500 miles 2. Oops! I ordered again 3. Hit me eBay one more time 4. Sittin' on the dock of e-Bay 5. Take another little piece of my cart now baby 6. Hello? Is it free shipping you're looking for? 7. Amazon grace 8. Owner of a lonely cart 9. Money for nothing and they ship for free 10. Living da Visa loca (Via Twitter)
