Sideswipe: November 29: Has Simon Bridges grown a mullet?

Media training lesson number one, make sure your crewhenchwomen stand to either the left or the right in a shot. (Thanks, Kevin Corbin)

Truth hard to swallow

1. Macarons: look delicious, taste like polystyrene and glue.

2. Lettuce serves no purpose, we just use it because no one is brave enough to stop. Lettuce is crunchy water.

3. Carrot cake is an abomination. Carrots need to know their place. Vegetables have no business being in a dessert.

4. If you replaced calamari with the rubber band that holds broccoli, and then deep fry it, no one would know the difference.

5. Eating raw oysters is like sending phlegm the wrong way.

6. Olives are not food. They are pickled knots of tree anger whose only distinguishing characteristic is a byproduct of whatever flavour of liquid malice they have had the misfortune to be embalmed in. Olive oil is the other end of the tree's emotional spectrum.

(Via @jonbecker-)

Upping the dating odds

A man in the US has found an unorthodox way to up his chances while using online dating apps. Aaron Smith from North Carolina has created a dating app with a unique feature – he is the only man on it. The parody app, which Smith has named Singularity, allows users to swipe through several different pictures of him. "The biggest problem with the other apps is that my face is not featured prominently," he said.

Off the hook

Photo / Supplied

A reader writes: "To the irate weirdo on the motorway abusing me and telling me to get off my phone. It's Muslim Bluetooth, you loser, and it isn't illegal, its hands free and convenient."

Dateline McDonald's

Fiatele writes: "Samoa moved across the dateline in December 2011 and therefore shares the same day as NZ. They might now have the most "east" McD's but no longer the most west. Another city/store will now hold that title (perhaps somewhere in Alaska?)."