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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: November 23: I'm not this 'dude'

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
22 Nov, 2016 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Trevor received a letter a couple of days ago and since there was, er, no one of that name at his address he phoned the sender - a towing outfit - and they told him they got the name and address from the NZ Transport Agency, presumably from the registration details.

Just so much bull

In 1900, Maria Salome, 20 years old, made her grand debut as the first female bullfighter. Over the years she became incredibly popular and gained great acclaim for her achievements. Because of her popularity, the Spanish government deemed it immoral for a woman to be a bullfighter so they outlawed it. This did not concern Maria (also known as La Reverte) - in public she pulled off her wig and announced to the world that she was, in fact, a man. Agustin Rodigriquez's (Maria's real name) announcement backfired - instead of continuing on as a popular bullfighter, the Spanish people hated him for having tricked them. Needless to say this ended his career. (Source: listverse.com)

Smile and say cheese

Jo writes: "My teenage dirtbag (who I love and adore beyond all reason) has been guilty of the following duh moments: 1) Last year while we were in Rotorua he got out of the car having left the window open. When I called his name he looked blankly at the window before declaring, "I can fix this!", ran back to car to put his arm through open window to close the electric window. At the point where the window hit his arm, after an "Oh" he again declared, "I can fix this!" and opened the door to finish the job! 2) When making dinner, the oven timer buzzer went off to tell him to take the pizza he'd made out of the oven. "Oh!" I heard from the kitchen and walked in to find him staring at a cheese-less pizza."

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Entitled parking space saver

Takapuna on Sunday afternoon, writes Chas. "I see a vacant carpark in a very crowded Anzac Ave carpark opposite the Shore City Shopping Centre. I go to pull into the carpark and I notice three shopping bags from high-end fashion stores in the middle of the carpark with a 20-something woman leaning against another parked car on her mobile. I politely ask if she would move them so I could park my car. 'No, this is my carpark,' she said. 'I'm waiting for my boyfriend to park here ... you'll have to go park somewhere else.' So I did (although my daughter said I should have squashed the Karen Walker heels into a pair of jandals!).

Your days are numbered fella

A reader writes: "I live in the area and regularly use the pedestrian crossing near Parnell District School. Late last year I was crossing one morning and this was written on the footpath. There was no one else around so I presumed the message was directed at me. I made the most of the day as best I could but felt just slightly rattled. I am pleased to say, however, that over 300 days later I am still around."

Picture this: This retro kid's caravan playhouse could be yours...

Picture this: I know you're scared honey...

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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