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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: November 19: Sarcastic security question

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
18 Nov, 2015 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Good one, geeks.

Good one, geeks.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

If you can understand our job ad, the position's yours

A power company has created a job ad full of utter blather, including the job title, which is, "Customer Experience Anthropologist". Huh? "We're looking for like-minded leaders, visionary thinkers and creative disruptors to help us challenge the status quo and really get things humming for our customers," enthuses the copy meaninglessly. "You will be experienced in attitudinal and behavioural segmentation, able to successfully integrate the customer voice across all channels," continues the jargon. "Like any pioneer, you will be adept at carving paths through ambiguity, resilient and resourceful with a ... passion for the customer," it concluded, overstating things just a tad.

Meanings of "interesting"

1. Interesting

2. Remarkably boring

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3. Suspicious

4. Curious

5. I'm afraid I'm not listening

6. You've lost me

(Via @SoVeryBritish)

Premature ending to cycle lane

Peter writes: "The roadworks and preparations for the cycleway down Nelson are certainly impressive. Cyclists will enjoy their own lane down the very long hill. Unfortunately, a nasty surprise awaits cyclists when they reach Victoria Street - where the cycle lane stops dead with a parked car."

Boom! Cycle lane ends abruptly.
Boom! Cycle lane ends abruptly.

Fancy a snorkel, my little spatula?

Contenders for the least sexy-sounding English word is: smegma, phlegm, rhombus, mildew, spatula, tracksuit, wart, mutton, ointment, snorkel, pamphlet, fingernail, dandruff, loaf, ombudsman and Keith. (Via Reddit)

Discover more

Opinion

Sideswipe: Photobombed by labour

11 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: November 13: Queensland lines don't play by the rules

12 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Fire! Where's the nearest hydrant? Oh.

15 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: The third cut is the deepest

16 Nov 04:00 PM

Bombings hit hardest closer to home

"The media did cover attacks in Beirut and Kenya, you just weren't paying attention," writes Emma Kelly on Quartz.com. She says that the outpouring of indignation after Paris - about the lack of coverage of other tragedies outside the US or Europe - was misguided. She explains: "But as anybody with access to a news site's analytics will tell you, people don't care about other tragedies as much. A story about a town being blown to pieces in, let's say, Lebanon, may get a couple of thousand hits total. The Paris attacks got thousands of hits every minute. Unless violence is local, in terms of proximity or culture, people just won't click. A lot of people in Western countries assume that a bombing in the Middle East happens every day. Now they're thinking that if it's happened in Paris, it could happen to them." Read more here...

Not sure Grandma's going to like her Christmas present next month.?
Not sure Grandma's going to like her Christmas present next month.?

Get in before the GST! Here are Sideswipe's picks for best online Christmas shopping ideas (aka gifts I would like!)
1) Slaughterhouse 90210 is book mashing up pop culture imagery with literary quotes...
2) Colouring In books are al the rage (something about promoting mindfulness) and this beautifully illustrated book gives a bird's-eye view of cities New York, London, and Paris to Istanbul, Tokyo, and Guadalajara, Rio, Amsterdam.
3) Who wouldn't love a pair of stylish 80s socks...
4) And for people who like cats...

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Video: The Australian comic trio SketchSHE perform their car-bound take on "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice.

Herald app users tap here for today's video.

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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