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Opinion
Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: November 12: New words invented by kids

Ana Samways
Opinion by
Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
11 Nov, 2021 04:00 PM2 mins to read

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1. Ice cubes are called water bricks in our house.

2. My 4-year-old calls my small guitar a ukulady.

3. My daughter says "cheese" instead of "geez" and I swear I'm never correcting her because it's the absolute cutest thing. "I just want to wear my PJs all day, cheese mum."

4. Call her over-dramatic, but my daughter calls tears "wet drops of sadness".

5. Kid just referred to a fly as an "air-spider," and now I'm thinking we should probably allow toddlers to name more things.

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6. My 4-year-old loves baboons. He had a red baboon and a green baboon and enjoyed kicking them around the house. His green baboon popped and he cried so much I had to promise to get him a new baboon. One day someone will tell him to say "balloons" and not baboons but it won't be me.

7. Instead of "the weekend," my 4-year-old calls Saturday and Sunday "iPad days," if you're wondering how my parenting is going.

Sauce from the red planet

Heinz has announced its first bottle of "Marz Edition" tomato sauce made from the same premium-quality tomatoes as used in its popular Earth-based edition, but grown in the same harsh conditions as found on Mars. The Mars-ready condiment is the product of two years of research conducted by a team of astrobiologists at the Florida Institute of Technology's Aldrin Space Institute. The plants were grown in Martian simulant — Earth-based soil chemically matched to the Red Planet's regolith — under the same temperature and water conditions as found on Mars.

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A choice was made today: A lazy one

Some days chopping garlic can seem too much.
Some days chopping garlic can seem too much.

Prickly death

In February 1982, a man from Phoenix, Arizona decided to go cactus hunting with a shotgun, but a cactus fought back. The man reportedly fired at least two rifle slugs from a 16-gauge shotgun at an 8 metre saguaro cactus and started to shout, "Timber!"
He only had enough time to say "Tim —" before the cactus fell and crushed him.

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