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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: My boss was just like The Office's David Brent

NZ Herald
5 Aug, 2020 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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'They're lovely people but I'm not sure the local Melba wants my business?' writes a reader.

'They're lovely people but I'm not sure the local Melba wants my business?' writes a reader.

"In 1968 my father was friends with a Cabinet minister in the then National government," writes Paul Blakeney. "While we were out trying out my father's brand new V8 (a big deal in those days) this Cabinet minister was at the wheel when flagged down by a traffic cop for speeding. When asking details for the ticket, including an occupation question, the very sheepish Cabinet minister replied 'Well actually I'm the Postmaster General'. When we returned home he showed us the ticket - under "occupation" he'd written 'Postman'."

Feline drug lord

A cat detained at a high-security Sri Lanka prison has escaped! The feline was jailed for allegedly trying to smuggle drugs and cellphone SIM cards. The drug lord was detected by jail intelligence officials on Saturday at Sri Lanka's main prison. Nearly two grams of heroin, two SIM cards, and a memory chip were all found in a small plastic bag that was on the criminal's neck. Police suspect that the drug traffickers who trained the cat came from the same cartel that used to use an eagle to smuggle drugs. While there is no stipulation for animal arrest in Sri Lanka, law enforcement was hoping that the feline could lead police to the smugglers' den, local media reports suggest. Reportedly, the four-legged drug lord escaped from its holding room through a fence when prison guards came in to feed it.

The glee is palpable.
The glee is palpable.

A David Brent-like boss

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My boss had a litany of misdemeanours. Like "The Office", but without the humour. Here are some I remember:

• He asked me how much I weighed during my interview.

• One time he was considering selling the company to a Japanese company and while walking them around the building he was heard saying "we really bombed the hell out of you, huh?"

• I have video of him telling a really cringey joke during a sales meeting. You could see at least one person covering their face in embarrassment

Not everyone is lucky enough to have a 'chilled out entertainer' for a boss...
Not everyone is lucky enough to have a 'chilled out entertainer' for a boss...

• He had a 'secret' facelift. He was mysteriously gone for three weeks and came back with a beard.

• I ended up with a box of pictures from the 70s with an exotic dancer giving him a lap dance. In the conference room. Same furniture.

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• One time I watched his business partner go down the pot luck line, tasting everything with the same fork. At the end of the line, he stuck his used fork into the cake. I haven't eaten at a work buffet since.

Honestly, these are just the ones I immediately remember. It was five years of this.

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