• I had been carrying a concealed gun all day (for which I have a permit), but then when I got home and picked up a toddler the gun was uncomfortable in my waistband, so I tried to remove it. That's whenI unintentionally shot the 3-year-old through both legs.
• I was unhappy with my taco, so I opened fire on the taco truck that sold it to me.
• After I got robbed, I went and bought a gun for self-defence. Then I was showing it to my buddy two weeks later and as we were passing it back and forth it went off and killed him.
• I hired a band to play in my bar for two hours, but they finished in one hour and tried to leave, so I shot the lead singer.
• Some teenagers were vandalising my neighbour's house with toilet paper, so I came out and shot one of them as they fled.
• A parishioner sat in a reserved pew at my church. People told him to move and he argued, so I ordered him to move and flashed my concealed carry badge at him (a vanity badge not issued by any law enforcement agency). He punched me, so I shot him dead.
• At a fast food restaurant, where guns are welcome, I unintentionally shot myself in the leg when I tried to pull up my pants in the bathroom.
(From the Parents Against Gun Violence Facebook page.)
Don't judge
Witty sign spotted at Vibes Cafe, Whangamata, by Kaye Whittle.
Guitar sighting turns rental encounter 'weird'
A reader writes: "I filled in an application to rent a house in Mt Roskill for my family. I was grilled by the middle-aged owner over usual stuff - pets and kids, references, how long we planned on renting. Then things got weird. First he said he'd noticed an electric guitar in the back of my car. Er, yes ... I play. He looked uncomfortable. Then he asked me what my monthly take-home pay was. I told him it was enough to cover the $650 rent. He said he would require the last 12 months' worth of bank statements ... I agreed, because I really wanted the house, but am now feeling like he has some cheek to be even asking."
"I was imparting some serious knowledge to my students the other day," writes Peter Lyons. "As I droned on I overheard the sound of bad music coming from a hidden iPod. I loudly suggested that the culprit should switch it off, own up and apologise profusely for such poor taste in music. I was distressed when the class erupted in laughter. A nearby student quietly pointed out that the sounds were coming from my own pocket. I had inadvertently activated my own device. The loud punk music I listen to in dreary staff meetings was blaring out."
Read this: The Australian government is to get rid of carp using the herpes virus..."Because carp have no teeth, the fish suck up fish eggs, insects, mussels, and plant matter from the riverbed, stirring up sediment. As a result, they're blamed for adversely affecting water quality and making it difficult for native fish that rely on sight to feed and survive. Carp have a high tolerance for polluted waters, making them unpopular fish to eat. Because they are bottom-feeders, many people often say that they taste like mud."
Video: Look at what happens when these two monkey's get rewarded differently for doing the same task...
