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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: May 24: Bizarre new fashion trend

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
23 May, 2019 05:00 PM2 mins to read

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Chicken fillets for your calves? Photo / Supplied

Chicken fillets for your calves? Photo / Supplied

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

COMMENT:

Anaesthesiologists, what are the best things people have said under the gas?

1. One patient asked, "Am I in hell?" I responded, "No you're not, you're just in recovery." They replied, "That sounds like something the devil would say. Count backwards from 100 to prove it."
2. A patient who
stroked my unshaved arm while I was trying to keep him from pulling at his IV, muttered, "you'd make such a great carpet".
3. I had a patient start a joke before surgery and finish it when they woke up without prompting.
4. My uncle is one and he said someone started singing The Phantom of the Opera then immediately started rapping mumbled lines.

And what about patients?

5. I went under for a nasal canal surgery and apparently after the surgery I was holding the nurse's hand and repeating, "I love you, don't leave me" over and over.
6. After getting my wisdom teeth removed I looked at my mother-in-law and said, "How did you get on my rocket ship?"
7. When my stepdad was going under for a surgery, he was almost out but was at a sweet point so the doctor told my mum she could ask him anything and he wouldn't be able to help but answer truthfully. She asked, "Do you love me?" My stepdad replied, "You need to go on and get your little Yoda shoes." (Via Reddit.com)

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Chicken fillets for your calves? Photo / Supplied
Chicken fillets for your calves? Photo / Supplied

Sunbathing scolding

"I am an old girl of Auckland Girls Grammar School during the early 70s," writes Brenda Turner. "I received a detention for 'sunbathing' on the main school lawn during lunchtime.

"I was sitting with my legs extended in front of me. 'Ladies' sat with their legs tucked under them. I was wearing thick black stockings and lace-up shoes at the time."

Did you know?

Fat Bottomed Girls and Bicycle Race by Queen were released together on a double A-sided single, and refer to each other. Near the end of Fat Bottomed Girls, Mercury shouts, "Get on your bikes and ride!" Bicycle Race reciprocates with the lyric "fat bottomed girls, they'll be riding today".

Discover more

Opinion

Sideswipe: When it comes to parking, which has precedence?

14 May 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Which was put in first?

15 May 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Sloppy signwriting

16 May 05:00 PM
Entertainment

Sideswipe: Touch and go parking

19 May 05:00 PM
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