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Opinion
Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: May 13: Measurement set in stone

Ana Samways
Opinion by
Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
12 May, 2020 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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"Legends say that only a construction worker who is pure of heart may retrieve it," tweets @Randy-Shannon.

"Legends say that only a construction worker who is pure of heart may retrieve it," tweets @Randy-Shannon.

Famous last words

Politicians and public figures may well care to ponder the story of the end of the Spanish military dictator, General Francisco Franco. Surrounded on his deathbed by his faithful army heads, he heard outside, beyond the heavily drawn curtains, a strange subdued noise like the sea, and asked someone to investigate. An aide did. He looked down from the palace balcony and returned with a lump in his throat and tears in his eyes and told the ailing Franco: "It is the people. Thousands of them. They have come to say goodbye." And Franco raised himself on one elbow and barked: "Why? Where are they going?"

Field rations

One Swedish eatery is offering the safest of dining experiences by only serving one person at a time, in the middle of an empty field. The creators of Bord for en (literally "Table for one") is a unique eatery, consisting of a simple wooden table and a single chair in the middle of a barren field, near the Swedish rural town of Ransater (population 114). There are no staff to wait on you, with diners asked to serve themselves the food and drinks from a picnic basket sent down to the table via rope from a nearby kitchen window. The owners say solo dining is the "ideal concept for eating", as it offers no distractions from enjoying the taste of the food in front of you.

Yoghurt for men

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When I was a kid, I thought…

1. That the local mosque in my city was Aladdin's vacation home.

2. As a kid I wouldn't eat in front of people and every meal I would find myself thinking "poor food, getting eaten" because I was convinced they had emotions.

3. I was vaguely aware of a TV show called Ironside, about a lawyer in a wheelchair. Whenever I heard the word "paralegal", I thought it meant a paraplegic lawyer. It made sense to me that people in wheelchairs could make excellent lawyers, based on the nature of the job and their physical limitations.

Elastic bands

Bruce Moody came up with some more band names transformed by changing one letter. "One day I'll get back to work and won't have the time," he says ... USB 40 ... The Splice Girls ... The Whom ... The Skinks ... Amen at Work (Christian sing-a-longs) ... Talking Sheds ... Boomtown Prats ... The Beagles ... The Dave Clark 15.

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Sideswipe: The story of Jack the Snipper

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Sideswipe: May 11: Disco David

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