Sideswipe May 1 : Gang of cones guarding a pothole

Gang of cones guarding a pothole in Woodward Rd, Mt Albert. Photo / Supplied

These nine have been in Woodward Rd, Mt Albert for three weeks now.

A dark secret

“When I was seven, I was home alone,” writes a reader. “I called emergency services due to a house fire that consumed half the house and they found me outside. My mother (who was at work, I was a latchkey kid) was told by the fire department that it was an electrical fire. In truth, I had a lighter and was fascinated by fire. I was burning the little tassles at the end of the blanket on my bed, putting them out before the whole blanket caught fire... Until I wasn’t able to and the whole bed caught fire. An electrical outlet shorted out from the heat, which caused the firemen to think that was the cause. I’m 40 now. My mother still doesn’t know the truth and I still remember it all vividly, complete with the heat on my face as I tried in vain to put out the bed.”

Cryptic foreshadowing

Cryptic foreshadowing. Photo / Supplied

Tweet goodness

“My mother just walked in on me having an online therapy session and I almost said, wow guys meet the star of the show.”

“My doctor told me I was borderline overweight and to eat more vegetables, so while we are looking out for each other, I told her her hair was dry and to use a moisturising conditioner.”

“I am first world poor. I have an iPhone and a Macbook so anywhere I am I can go online and check if I have $5 in my account.”

“I can’t believe the government missed the opportunity to rename Three waters Wet, Wet, Wet.”