Sideswipe: March 27: Bus and car lane

Bus and car lane.

"Here is a heart warming photo for whoever has received a ticket for driving in a bus lane," writes a reader. "You're just doing it wrong. This is the Sandringham Rd bus lane near Kingsland which most mornings fills up with cars, often all the way back to the Mt Eden train station. Once or twice a year AT turn up in their fluorescent vests and camera. These considerate drivers then suddenly know the rules and the busses can get through. On every other day of the year, go for it mate, safety in numbers."

News nostalgia

This was a news story from a year ago. It was the perfect weird news story so worth a reprisal ... "An Australian rapper who calls himself '2pec' is in trouble after skipping out on a $621 bill at a seafood restaurant, being chased into the ocean and retrieved by police on jet skis. Thirty-three-year-old Terry Peck sat down for a nice meal at Omeros Bros Restaurant in the Gold Coast, where he ordered two lobsters, 17 oyster shooters, and a baby octopus before becoming upset at his $621 bill. Peck claimed his lobsters were overcooked, there was shell in one of his oyster shooters, and the restaurant's prices were too high - which he felt justified making a break for it. He ran onto the beach while being chased by restaurant staff, and out into the ocean. Eventually, Peck was charged with two counts of serious assault of a police officer, and banned from the restaurant for life. The judge in the case couldn't believe the meal the man ordered, according to Australia's ABC News. 'Oh God! By himself?' she exclaimed when told how much the bill amounted to."

Worst opening lines ... *

1. She strutted into my office wearing a dress that clung to her like Saran Wrap to a sloppily butchered pork knuckle, bone and sinew jutting and lurching asymmetrically beneath its folds, the tightness exaggerating the granularity of the suet and causing what little palatable meat there was to sweat, its transparency the thief of imagination. (Chris Wieloch)

2. "Hmm ..." thought Abigail as she gazed languidly from the veranda past the bright white patio to the cerulean sea beyond, where dolphins played and seagulls sang, where splashing surf sounded like the tintinnabulation of a thousand tiny bells, where great grey whales bellowed and the sunlight sparkled off the myriad of sequins on the flyfish's bow ties, "time to get my meds checked." (Andrew Bowers)

3. She sipped her latte gracefully, unaware of the milk foam droplets building on her moustache, which was not the peachy-fine baby fuzz that Nordic girls might have, but a really dense, dark, hirsute lip-lining row of fur common to southern Mediterranean ladies nearing menopause, and winked at the obviously charmed Spaniard at the next table. (Jeanne Villa)

(* written for the express purpose of being terrible and funny)

Marc with a 'c'

Marc with a 'c'.

Marriage advice still good 100 years on

Quick links

1. How deep is the ocean, really? Real deep.

2.An amazing tracking shot from a film (Wings) made in 1927.

Video pick

Watch a kidney bean grow above the ground and under the ground …

Music: Blue Danube by Strauss

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz