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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: March 24: Aspiring leader?

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
23 Mar, 2021 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Lookalikes: National MP Chris Bishop and the former PM and National Party leader Rob Muldoon.

Lookalikes: National MP Chris Bishop and the former PM and National Party leader Rob Muldoon.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

How much would you charge for this job?

The following is a job ad on Student Job Search. Anyone game? "So there's no way to dress this one up - it's a bit of an icky one, but I'm willing to pay a fair price to get the job done. We went to get underfloor insulation put in and the installers weren't too keen to do the job as there was a fair amount of excrement and urine down there on top of a black plastic moisture barrier. This needs cleaning up sanitising and deodorising and then laying some cat repellent to stop the problem coming back. I'm thinking this is probably a two-person job and would take the best part of a day ... We will supply the necessary protective gear (overalls, masks, gloves) and any cleaning supplies. You'll need to wear a helmet as at the front of the house it gets pretty low and there's risk of head bumps."

They're baack!

Last year, a rowdy hoard of goats took advantage of the quieter conditions created by the Covid-19 lockdown and invaded Welsh seaside town.Their antics earned them their 15-minutes of viral fame, but it looks like the story didn't end there. The goats are now back and in greater numbers than ever after missing their annual dose of contraception due to the pandemic. The population of Kashmiri goats lives in the rocky landscape of Great Orme along the north coast of Wales but often visits the town of Llandudno in the winter and spring months to look for food. According to Conwy County Borough Council, the goats were originally a gift to a local lord from none other than Queen Victoria. However, some 100 years ago, the goats escaped from the estate and have since roamed peacefully in a wild state.

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Phrases that need to get in the bin

10. Get in the bin
9. I was today-years-old when ...
8. You win the internet today
7. So this happened
6. Make it make sense
5. I did not have (...) on my 2021 bingo card
4. How's you?
3. Counting the sleeps
2. All the feels
1. It is what it is
(Via @AdamCSharpe)

Shortness, self-sufficiency and cheese

"I was I about 5'4" but age and work, they tell me, has compressed my spine and I am 5'2"," writes Don Anderson from Rothersay Bay. "I do the same as the short girl and ask for help for high shelves. So far have not been refused.  If no tallies are about I arrange the trolley sideways against the shelves and with my walking stick usually do very well. The tasty cheese slices are very popular but supermarkets do not have two rows for tasty and often the cheese is not within length of my arm. Problem solved again with the walking stick."

Discover more

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Sideswipe: Howzit going Salmon?

22 Mar 04:00 PM
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Sideswipe: Cyclists go their own way

21 Mar 04:00 PM
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Sideswipe: Teacher asks for best gag

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17 Mar 04:00 PM
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