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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: June 15: What are NZ values?

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
14 Jun, 2016 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Act Party leader David Seymour says he was all good with the insignificant increase in our refugee quota - up 250 to 1000 - but said new arrivals should sign a "statement of commitment to New Zealand values". Political commentator Morgan Godfrey (@MorganGodfrey) wondered what those values could encompass, so asked Twitter ...

1. Legally you are free to punch someone while standing on this (see above picture, credit drivingtests.co.nz).

2. If you disagree with someone, throw a dildo at them.

3. Loving cars ... hating public transport ... still complaining about traffic.

4. Parking on the footpath to leave the road clear.

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5. Posting online tributes when Shortland St characters die.

6. You've got a pair of summer jandals and a pair of winter ones.

7. Houses earning more than you do.

8. Houses that are colder inside than out.

9. Being real proud of the 81 tour protests, but mocking anyone who tries to protest in 2016.

Discover more

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08 Jun 05:30 PM
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10. Having no interest in te reo Maori but making damn sure you have greenstone or bone carving for you OE.

11. Pre-loading before the school ball.

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12. Winter: feijoa cake, juice and face mask.

13. Pronouncing Whangarei as Wonga-ray.

14. Inter-generational, inter-island disdain for Aucklanders.

15. Voting for the PM since he seems like someone you'd like to have a beer with.

16. Coming over here ... taking Maori land ... then complaining about Chinese coming over here ... taking our land.

17. Wanting to exhume, and retrieve the DNA of, and then clone, David Lange. The only realistic way to save the Labour party.

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Read more New Zealand Values here...

Photo / Supplied
Photo / Supplied

"I am Open2view Area Franchisee for Auckland Central/West," writes Mike Taylor. "That is my photo featured in Sideswipe yesterday and I'd like to clarify. The 'tower' in the image is actually not a photoshopped Sky Tower at all. It's actually a crystal hanging in the window!"

Donald Trump Cat Scratching Post.
Donald Trump Cat Scratching Post.

Worst PR stunts

• Jagermeister held a pool party in Mexico where dry ice was poured into the packed pool for a good photo op. Eight people were hospitalised and one person was left comatose as the substance displaced the oxygen around the pool, leaving the partygoers unable to breathe.

• The Cartoon Network famously promoted Aqua Teen Hunger Force by placing strange magnetic flashing packages around Boston, terrifying locals and causing a full-scale terrorist bomb alert.

• Drink maker Snapple attempted to erect a 17.8 tonne ice-lolly during the height of a New York summer. It melted before the photocall, flooding Times Square in kiwifruit-flavoured goo.

• US fizzy brand Doctor Pepper did a "buried coins" treasure hunt, which very nearly led to the graves of America's founding fathers being dug up.

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(Via PRweek.com)

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz??

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