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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: June 13: When Gladstone becomes ...

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
12 Jun, 2018 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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When Gladstone becomes ... Anne was told by a person at council that "things like this happen in life" ...

When Gladstone becomes ... Anne was told by a person at council that "things like this happen in life" ...

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Copped Waiheke-style

"Waiheke in 1961. My father had just finished baling the last of the hay on what is now Stoney Ridge vineyard. The labourers had all gone home and the Land Rover and trailer, as well as the baler and tractor needed to get home to Ostend . 'You take the truck boy and I will be home later,' instructed Dad. 'No worries,' I say and off I go towing a full load of hay. I got just past Shepherds Point and was stopped by the 'summer traffic cop'. (Traffic cops were only on the island during the summer). He shakes his head in disbelief - a bloody primary school kid buzzing along like it's normal. 'Who are you ... how far are you going ...' Shakes his head again, gets on his bike and goes. I got home safely reversed the load into the barn and got on with my chores."

No way to trim a hedge

"In the early 60s, aged about 12, I accompanied my father to his mother's place one Saturday afternoon to mow her lawn and tidy the backyard. After finishing the lawn he noticed that the rear hedge, which ran the full width of the property, badly needed trimming. Having no hedge clippers, he hatched a plan to use the nearby lawnmower.

I immediately expressed my opposition to this idea but was quickly talked into complying. So there we were, standing each side of the hedge carrying the lawnmower by its wheels, running at full power and at eye height down the full length of the hedge. We then turned the mower vertically and trimmed or rather took chunks out of the side of the hedge. I don't recall the operation being hugely successful, but today, at age 68, just the thought of what could have gone wrong that afternoon still haunts me."

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Gift a bit below the belt

Brisbane Airport souvenir a bit below the belt?
Brisbane Airport souvenir a bit below the belt?

What is universally liked?

1. The feeling you get when you take off your bra, or shoes.

2. Getting water out of your ear.

3. Finding cash in your pocket you had forgotten about.

4. Sleeping in your bed with freshly washed sheets right after a shower.

5. Getting the USB in on the first try.

6. To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.

7. Dopamine, endorphins and serotonin.

Discover more

Opinion

Sideswipe: Marketing team is bang on

06 Jun 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Salmon and bacon offerings

07 Jun 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Signs of the times

10 Jun 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Pained face emoji

11 Jun 05:00 PM

8. David Attenborough's voice.

(Via Ask Reddit)

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Video Pick

Trump made a movie trailer for Kim…

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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