"My single friend and I go to bars and clubs hoping to meet cute guys," reads a letter to Ask E. Jean, in Elle. "But men do not approach us. We're both in our early twenties, in great shape, work in fashion, have nice apartments, andare ready for some fun! But it's like we're wearing man repellent! We watch guys approach girls far less attractive than we are, and it's so frustrating. What felony are we committing?"
"Dear 'Should Be Meeting Multiple Men'," replies That Bad Advisor. "Heterosexual romance is a transactional encounter to which any woman who reaches your soaring heights of attractiveness is entitled by virtue of her ability to put on a good pair of shoes. You're doing everything right by sulking around and hoping some dude at a club chats you up, in between your riveting efforts at giving knife-eyes to women who have the gall to lack your stunning beauty.
This is, after all, how all great love stories through the ages have begun: Grandma plopped her greatly shaped ass on a stool with a martini and stared into space until Grandpa, unable to resist the pull of her ravishingness, took her back to her nice apartment and had "some fun". The only felony you're committing is the crime of being, perhaps, too beautiful ..."
A property owner in Rhode Island used several tonnes of clams to pave an access road, but didn't wash them first, and now the smell emanating from the decaying road is reportedly unbearable. David Rose unloaded several truckloads of unwashed clam shells onto the access road to his property, as a cheaper alternative to gravel.
As soon as they saw what was going on, Rose's neighbours told him the shells still had visible clam meat on them that would start to rot. Rose ignored their advice and after three rainy days, the sun came out over Tiverton, and with it came maggots, flies and a stench that neighbours describe as unbearable. Rose's neighbours have made signs with messages like "Honk if it Stinks". "It's like bodies decaying," a local, added.
Urban dictionary update
1. Sploot: A type of stretch that some pets do - typically associated with corgis when they are laying on their belly while stretching their legs out behind them.
2. Resting Murder Face: When your natural resting expression appears so angry that people who do not know you, and even those who do at times, believe you may soon murder someone. Typically for men. Derivative of resting bitch face in women.
3. Chicken sleeping: When you fall asleep in an upright position with your head dangling, most commonly in a car or plane.
Heavy-handed editing
Saudi censors turn woman a in swimming pool advert
How automation is taking over jobs faster than human can adapt to the new types of jobs...Blockbuster video in 2004 made 6 billion in revenue and employed 84,000 people, but in 2016 Netflix employed just 4,500 people but made 9 billion.
