Sideswipe: June 1: Sticking to the letter of the lawn

John writes: "Every fortnight the mower people come and do a property near us. And every time they stick to the letter of the law(n) and leave the nearby bits to grow higher and higher – even though they are adjoining or right beside the client's property. It would be sooooo easy for them to do the other little bits – take about like five minutes ... but no – too hard basket – they'd rather leave it scruffy. I wouldn't hire that company on principle. Sadly, my extension cord for my electric mower can't reach that far or I would do it myself."

Sister vindicated

I live in a rural community in Canada. My sister came to see me once and swore up and down that she saw a zebra grazing in the fields. I made fun of her for a couple of years about how the zebra roam the north pole and how Santa has zebra instead of reindeer. She was really starting to doubt herself but stuck to her guns. Well, I was driving one day and lo and behold, a f****** zebra grazing in the field. Turns out a zoo sometimes lets them roam around there. When I told my sister she felt vindicated.

Spillage becomes art

Maegan Eckblad creates illustrations out of intentional coffee spills

Random thoughts

1. "Q is too high up in the alphabet. I respect it, but it has no place between P and R. It should be at the end with all the weirdo letters."

2."My ability to disassociate has become too powerful. Now I am just watching the fall of America like, 'hmm that's what happens to empires' while I look for dog hats on Amazon."

3."One of my favourite games to play ... "Is my headache dehydration, caffeine withdrawal, lack of proper nutrition, my ponytail, not wearing my glasses or a tumour?"

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Don't let them throw cake

A man seemingly disguised as an old woman in a wheelchair threw a piece of cake at the glass protecting the Mona Lisa at the Louvre museum and shouted at people to think of planet earth. The Paris prosecutor's office said on Monday that the man, 36, was detained following Sunday's incident and sent to a police psychiatric unit, and that it had opened an investigation into the damage of cultural artefacts. Videos posted on social media showed a young man in a wig and lipstick who had arrived in a wheelchair. The man, whose full identity or affiliations are unknown, was also seen throwing roses in the museum gallery to slack-jawed guests. The cake attack left a conspicuous white creamy smear on the glass but the famous work by Leonardo da Vinci wasn't damaged.