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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: July 24: Message in a lunchbox

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
23 Jul, 2020 05:00 PM2 mins to read

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My boy's reaction to me putting lettuce in his lunchbox.

My boy's reaction to me putting lettuce in his lunchbox.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Potent coffee

Italian customs officers at Malpensa Airport were drawn by a small package from Colombia to a man named Santino D'Antonio — recognising it as the name of main antagonist in John Wick 2. They decided to inspect the package found 2kg bag of fine Colombian coffee beans. There was nothing suspicious about the contents at first glance, but a closer look revealed discrete bits of adhesive tape. The coffee beans had been meticulously hollowed out and filled with cocaine. The address on the package was a tobacco and coffee shop in Florence. Police kept an eye on the place for a few days and sure enough, Santino turned up to pick up the package.Unlike the elegantly-dressed mafia boss in the movie, the real-life Santino D'Antonio turned out to be a 50-year-old casually-dressed man who arrived on his bike.

Doctors on motorbikes!

Inconsiderate parking. Photo/supplied.
Inconsiderate parking. Photo/supplied.

A reader writes: "While recently visiting a local medical clinic I was surprised to see a motorbike being taken up the pedestrian ramp and left outside the entrance doors. However, I was absolutely shocked upon entering the clinic to discover that the motorbike in fact belongs to the doctor. Inappropriate parking and a definite OSH issue from a medical worker that should know better?!"

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Parking angel

"One recent night I went with friends to Tony's restaurant," writes Catherine. " After parking in the Civic carpark and enjoying a lovely evening it was time to go home. Shock and horror when I looked on my handbag at the restaurant to find I didn't have the parking ticket. Then I remembered I had been talking to my friend while I'll prepaid and I had a ditzy moment and only retrieved my credit card. Oh well I'll have to fess up and pay the fine. Back to the carpark joking that the ticket was bound to be waiting for me... And it was! I'd like to thank the kind person who put the ticket and receipt to one side and all those who followed for leaving my ticket there for two hours."

Types of drunks

5. The Hemingway (personality does not change)
4. The Mary Poppins (becomes much happier)
3. The Nutty Professor (becomes more social)
2. The Mr Hyde (becomes more hostile)
1. The Trump (becomes completely incoherent)
(Via @AdamCSharpe)

Discover more

Opinion

Sideswipe: You had one job

16 Jul 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: A matter of taste

19 Jul 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Evil tape measure

20 Jul 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Engineering fail

21 Jul 05:00 PM
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