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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: July 17: But can he sing?

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
16 Jul, 2017 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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"Presumably good at helping people stay alive," tweets @CharlieBeatnick.

"Presumably good at helping people stay alive," tweets @CharlieBeatnick.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Teachers with originality

1. "Year 11 geometry teacher. The first day of her class she made each student get on top of their respective desks and she turned out the lights. She then instructed the class to curl up into a ball (an egg) and she turned on some weird, New Age music. She then walked around the class and tapped on each egg (student) and told them to uncurl and that they had now "hatched out of their egg into the exciting world of geometry."

2."Mrs McCormick. A psychology and history teacher. She kept sofas and recliners in her room instead of the usual desks. While she was teaching mental health she would act out the symptoms of manic, schizophrenic, multiple personality disorder or whatever she was teaching. She would keep the act going on all day until the final bell rang. Often hiding under desks, shattering empty beer bottles, screaming at the top of her lungs to stop the aliens, painting on students faces in the hallway. She was a riot."

3."My high school drama teacher. She went by Carol, even though her name wasn't Carol. Apparently one of her students back in the day called her that jokingly one time and it just stuck ... Whenever she tried to get our attention she would shout, "Okay, children of the corn!" ... She basically acted like it was torture teaching drama to these imbecile high schoolers, but you could tell she loved it."

4."My art teacher made a trebuchet and launched clay balls at other teachers as they walked by his class."

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5."I had a teacher who was a hardcore feminist, wore woolly tights. God was female, and she let the girls in the class go to lunch early to teach the boys sexism."

Olive overkill.
Olive overkill.

Crime's ring of truth

"Someone I know who used to work the Crimewatch phones told me most calls they took were from people IDing the actors in the recreations," tweets Sarah Barnett @sarahbarnettnz

Hamilton band names

Via Richard Easther @REasther
Via Richard Easther @REasther

Ze Plane! Ze Plane!

WWWwwooooooooossssshhhhhh! How fast a plane actually goes.

Try it, it's cathartic

Push Trump off a cliff (*as a way of venting political frustration and in now was a murderous suggestion)

Video pick

The Bastille Day parade in Paris included a marching band playing a medley of hits from Daft Punk. Macron gets it, but Trump has no idea...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

Discover more

Opinion

Sideswipe: Unintentional juxtaposition

10 Jul 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Accidental greenhouse

11 Jul 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Not lawn fertiliser

12 Jul 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: July 14: DIY orange juice

13 Jul 05:00 PM
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