Sideswipe: January 30: Unnecessary signage?

So unnecessary that it might just be necessary. Photo / Supplied

Singular moments

A couple of years ago while holidaying in Gisborne we visited Rere Falls. My sister-in-law and I took to the waterfall slide with enthusiasm. Our boogie boards kept getting stuck partway down the waterfall resulting in us ending up at the bottom, boardless. At one point when my sister-in-law's board was stuck, a kind man loaned her his board to slide down on and knock her own board loose as she went past. She slid down on the borrowed board, but hit a bump hard. Being a wee lady, she was separated from her board and launched into the air. I braced myself for the sight of her hitting the rock face down. Instead she flew through the air and landed on her own board, then seamlessly slid to the bottom (accompanied by an eruption of cheers from onlookers).

Julia has found a kebab shop with exacting standards. Photo / Supplied

Pass-Ag daycare

A furious mum has hit out at a daycare provider in the UK who left her a message by scrawling it on her toddler's stomach in green marker. Writing on Facebook, the livid mum says the daycare put a daily report in both of her children's lunch boxes to let her know how they had behaved that day, when they were changed, and if they need more nappies or wipes brought in. She said she must have missed a message from the day before that her son required more nappies. The message read: "Mum I'm out of diapers please read my report."

Feeling blue and bashful

A man who rushed himself to hospital when he noticed his legs had turned blue was embarrassed when doctors told him the cause. Mark Shrayber said he thought he might have deep vein thrombosis. But, he added: "I have the 'dumb guy who doesn't wash his new jeans before wearing them' disease and I would like to be executed immediately."

That time your kid embarrassed you ...

1. My daughter's first sentence while passing KFC with the wife in the car "dad dads din dins" #busted

2. Showing a prospective buyer round our house. Told kids to stay downstairs while I showed the upstairs. Opened the under-stairs cupboard in our bedroom. A voice behind us exclaims loudly "See, there's no dead people in there!" Cheers, 6-year-old daughter!

3. When my son was learning to read and at the stage of reading everything he saw out loud. Sitting on a busy-ish Tube and a clear voice came from my side: "London sperm bank. Be special, give sperm."