Sick makeup brand. There's no hiding the bad taste of this brand of concealer. Photo / Supplied
Is it just me?
UK TV composer Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) tweets: "Every evening, before going to bed, I hide the front door keys so that my eldest son, who sleepwalks most nights, doesn't inadvertently let himself out. What daily rituals do you suspect you're alone in following?"
1. Every day
I leave the TV on for the dogs. I feel bad if it's on something rubbish like the shopping channel, so I spend 10 minutes searching for something they might like.
2. Every night the last person up to bed has to take the knobs off the oven because our toddler is a maniac.
3. I tie my shoelaces before every car journey so I'm a minute or so behind where I'm meant to be on the road, thus dodging fate.
4. When we get breakfast, we sing "Let's get cereal! Cereal!" to the tune of Olivia Newton John's Physical.
5. Every day as I leave for work I cheerily trill, "Have a nice day being a cat!" to the cat, because she has a lot of catting to get done. When I come home I enthusiastically inquire, "Have you had a nice day being a cat?" — she always has.
Three jokes to tell your kids
1. Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed.
2. What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus.
3. Doctor, Doctor! Help, I feel like a pair of curtains! Pull yourself together then.
