Talk about depriving the reader of a great headline. From Eastern Courier 15th February, 2017.
Online dating bit of a drug
A reader writes: "While visiting my aunt (70) took an interest in my online dating profile on Find Someone. Thinking it my be time for her to find a companion. So I took her through the site and explained how it all worked. We
signed her up, wrote an appealing profile and answered the various lifestyle questions (do we really need to know a potential mate's favourite dinner?). The final section was Thoughts. This section gives members the opportunity to outline their values - attitude to money, politics, children and the like. Money? Just say you're financially independent I suggest. Yes. Good. Politics? I'm centre left, she says ... Children? Four adult children, she replies. What was utterly hilarious was when we came to drugs, began listing the medications she was on ... 'Statins, Thyroxine and Beta-blockers.' No Aunty, they want to know your attitude to recreational drugs. *snigger*"
The wrong end of the stitch
1. When at intermediate school, in metal work class, during instruction at the beginning of the class we were advised to use elbow grease to achieve a certain result. Later on, during the class, one of the students called out "who's got the elbow grease?"; what she really required was the oil/grease bottle.
2. Years ago when I first came to New Zealand from the Netherlands I told some one my mother had surgery for "venison veins".
