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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: December 5: Where is his sleigh?

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
4 Dec, 2016 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Unfortunately Auckland roads too congested for the sleigh, writes Anna Kirker.

Unfortunately Auckland roads too congested for the sleigh, writes Anna Kirker.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Kids being accidentally funny

1. Daughter: How was your day, Daddy?

Dad: Pretty busy. Lots of meetings and deadlines.

Daughter: DEAD LIONS?!!

2. Dad: Who is your favourite Star Wars character?

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5 year-old: Kylo Ren.

Dad:You can't like him. He killed his Dad.

5 year-old: Maybe he deserved it.

3. Kid: What did I earn for being good?

Parent: My love and affection.

Kid: (cries) I don't want that!

Discover more

Opinion

Sideswipe: Enjoy your new nickname

27 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Niche marketing

28 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Promise falls short

29 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Wham! It's Christmas

30 Nov 04:00 PM

4. Teen: (to mother) You are invading my personal space.

Mother: You came out of my personal space.

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5. Daughter, 10: Mum, what's a metaphor?

Mum: My life is a train wreck.

Daughter: I know, Mum ... But what's a metaphor?

The sexy scent of power

Admirers of Justin Trudeau can buy a candle scented with the Prime Minister's mysterious musk. The chai-tea-and-maple-scented candles come wrapped in a picture of the Canadian Prime Minister and as the Etsy craft website explains: "If you live in Canada, there's a good chance you've already had the opportunity to smell Justin Trudeau, since he's always showing up at concerts or popping out of caves with no shirt on ... But if you're not lucky enough to live in Canada, you've probably concluded, 'I guess I'll never know what Justin Trudeau smells like. Why was I even born into such a cruel world?"' (Via CBC)

Spotted in Hamilton.
Spotted in Hamilton.

Dentures from the dead

Sugar consumption was rising in the late 18th and early 19th centuries as was teeth whitening using acidic solutions. As people's tooth enamel inevitably wore away, the demand for false teeth grew. Consequently, some of the poorest in society took advantage of the booming market. Given that dentures with human teeth could fetch well over 100, some poor people resorted to pulling out their teeth in an attempt to sell their crowns to wealthy dental patients. As the number of living donors began to decline, people set their sights on the battlefield at Waterloo, where thousands of fallen soldiers remained. In 1815, surviving troops, locals and even scavengers who had travelled from Britain began pulling the teeth of the dead to sell them to dental technicians. The teeth were then boiled and shaped before being placed on ivory dentures. The Anatomy Act of 1832, which licensed the movement of human corpses, ultimately reduced the use of human teeth in dentures. (Source: Listverse)

Honest farewell cake.
Honest farewell cake.

Good read: Honest Museum Audio Tour: "Here it is, the "Mona Lisa." You woke up early for this. You waited in line for almost an hour. You're now surrounded by seventy people, all trying to catch a glimpse of it. One of them just elbowed you while taking a photograph of it. It's behind a lot of glass. It's not very big. What I'm trying to say is: it's O.K. to feel disappointed..." Read more here.

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Good read: Trumpgrets (schadenfreude therapy) is a compilations of tweets from Trump supporters who regret voting for Trump, mostly because he doesn't seem to be delivering what he promised.

Video: Japanese grandmas dance to Bruno Mars...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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