Sideswipe: December 24: Christmas Greetings from Lower Hutt

Christmas Greetings from Lower Hutt.

Two mates enjoy a pre-Christmas stink

Ian Wilson of Ngaruawahia writes: "Almost 50 years ago my buddy had a truck-driving job that involved picking up empty mussel, scallop and oyster shells from down at the Viaduct every two days. It was the day before Christmas and he had missed a couple of previous pick-ups. We could smell the stench from 150 metres away ... Being a mischievous rascal, Rex decided the shortest route to Papakura was up Queen St at 12.15pm. Lunchtime in the CBD! I will never forget the screwed-up faces and the scattering of Auckland's office workers in all directions ... Rex received a royal bollocking from his boss until he told him of the deviation up Queen St returning to base."

Better to give than to receive

Threats - they're always better to give than to receive.

Fir goodness sake ...

British grocery chain Iceland is offering a new flavour of potato chips this holiday season - that of a Christmas tree. The chips are called "Luxury Christmas Tree Flavour Salted Hand-Cooked Crisps", and the Christmas tree is a pine. The crisps use the oil from real pine needles to help get that unique Christmas tree flavour and the range also includes the more appetising "lobster cocktail" and "pigs in blankets" flavours.

An ill wind from Christmases past

A carcinogen helps spread Christmas cheer. This according to Snopes.com: "Asbestos was once marketed as artificial snow and sprinkled on trees and wreaths and ornaments. Although those products have not been produced for many years, the oldest decorations that were passed down, from one generation to the next, may still have small amounts of asbestos." There is a scene in The Wizard of Oz where an asbestos snowfall awakes Dorothy and her friends from a spell cast by the Wicked Witch of the West.