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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: August 8: Plastic, so not fantastic

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
7 Aug, 2019 05:00 PM2 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

If only nature would find a way of covering these oranges.

Some thoughts for Stefan Molyneux

The alt-right Canadian Stefan Molyneux has upset many with his latest tweet: "Women get mostly infertile at 40, but live to be 80. Without a family, what are you going to do with those 40 long, long years?" Here are some replies
1. Claw wordlessly at the windows of the local play centre like the ghost of a Victorian orphan.
2. Well there's gotta be at least 80 flavours of ice cream I haven't tried yet so that's gonna take some time.
3. Play shuffleboard, eat chocolate, and say shocking things to people too dumb to breathe.
4. Men can't bear children at all during their lives. The real question is what the hell are THEY doing?
5. We turn into witches after the menopause and head skyward at night. We enter your worst nightmares and enjoy ourselves tremendously.

Life after death

"After seven days lying comatose, after 22 minutes without oxygen during an unfortunately named instance of cardiac death, my husband began to flutter his eyelids. My father and I had been waiting, hopeful but frightened. We wondered: Will he be able to talk? To walk? To feed or bathe himself? The predictive tests hadn't been encouraging. So we stared, and after a while my husband's blue eyes focused on mine. Then he sputtered and coughed. We stared. He blinked. We stared. Finally, I whispered, 'How are you, love?' He sighed and said, 'Well, I've been mostly dead all day'." — Lisa Petty in NYT Tiny Love Stories

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Small world stories

A reader writes: "Many years ago as a Kiwi working in Britain, I was returning overnight from business in Vancouver, Canada, on a British Airways flight back to London.
"During the trolley food service, the stewardess accidentally spilt hot coffee over my white skivvy. During the clean-up discussion, I detected a Kiwi accent. The usual question, 'Where are you from?' was met with the answer, 'Auckland'.
"Question: 'Oh, where?'
"Answer: 'A suburb no one seems to know about.'
"Question: 'Try me.'
"Answer: 'Blockhouse Bay.'
"Me: 'I lived for a while in Blockhouse Bay Rd.'
Her family home was just five doors away.

Discover more

Entertainment

Sideswipe: Get your passport taken here

01 Aug 05:00 PM
Entertainment

Sideswipe: Lofty goals

01 Aug 07:09 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Kiddie door

04 Aug 05:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Typo butterfly effect

05 Aug 05:00 PM
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