Sideswipe: April 4: Not to be taken literally

An advertising slogan rather than an instruction ... we hope.

Police phone home

Reader D.A says he was pleased to find out at the weekend that there are still members of the public who will go out of their way to do a good deed for which they can't be rewarded. "A couple of minutes into my bus ride home on Friday night I realised I didn't have my phone on me," he writes. "I got off at the next stop, went back to the bus stop where I had placed it down beside me but it was gone. I thought, being a Friday night and town being busy, it was probably the last I'd see of it. I was kicking myself for being so careless. I tried ringing it when I got home but nobody answered. I was surprised to get a call on Saturday morning saying someone had handed the phone in at the Auckland central police station. The person at the counter had called the contact "Home" on my phone realising there was a good chance they would find its owner. The police station was a good walk away from where I had lost my phone so whoever handed it in possibly went out of their way to hand it in. I asked the woman at the counter if there was any way I could thank the person who handed it in but she said they are not allowed to pass on that information. So to the person who handed it in, if you are reading this, thanks."

At Puketapu Auction and Fair.

Queen Elizabeth II is amusing

1. During a sitting for a portrait with the artist Lucian Freud, the Queen confided that she had hired one of her protection officers to guard the crown she was wearing for the picture at a pheasant shoot. "I was picking up after the guns as I always do when a wounded pheasant scratched me and drew blood. The detective assumed I'd been shot, threw himself on top of me and began giving me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I consider we got to know each other rather well."

2. The Queen was unable to sleep one night and took a 3am walk around the Buckingham Palace grounds. A member of the security team saw someone in the dark at a distance, and shouted, "Who's that?!" He was shocked when she identified herself, and blurted out, "Bloody hell, Your Majesty, I nearly shot you!" She just replied mildly, "That's quite all right. Next time I'll ring through beforehand so you don't have to shoot me."
(Via quora.com)

Innovative meat marketing: A butcher in Sheringham, Norfolk has added a moving toy train carrying a sausage to its meat display cabinet.

An unusual post found on parenting forum Mumsnet.com

Good read: "Spiders mostly eat insects, although some of the larger species have been known to snack on lizards, birds and even small mammals. Given their abundance and the voraciousness of their appetites, two European biologists recently wondered: If you were to tally up all the food eaten by the world's entire spider population in a single year, how much would it be?" Read more here.

Video: Sentimental Thai Life Insurance ad...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz