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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: April 28: Filthy capitalism

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
27 Apr, 2017 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Filthy Capitalism. Photo / Sourced

Filthy Capitalism. Photo / Sourced

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Full picture of filthy capitalism here.

Strange experiences with strangers

1. "I got mugged once in Glasgow as a young teenager. This is how the conversation went. 'I'm going to need whatever money you have on you kid' ... 'I got a 20 note but need it to get the train home' ... 'How much is your ticket?' ... '"Bout 8 or 9' ... 'Oh, that's alright, I've got change' ... He took my 20 and gave me 10 back. Not a bad mugging by any means."

2. "I worked in a large retail supermarket. I was bent forward, placing some toys on a podium, when suddenly my rear was slapped. Like, really slapped. I turn around and a neat elderly lady around age 70 stands behind me. 'I always do that to the young girl in my local supermarket,' she said, then she chuckled softly."

3. "I was at university and this husky guy with an untrimmed neckbeard asked me what time it was. I politely told him, even giving a smile and he stuck his hand out to me. Confused, I shook his hand but then he seemed confused, almost startled as he did these weird hand gestures. 'Oh ... you don't know the handshake,' he said before leaving with a worried look on his face."

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4. "I was living with three roommates and our toilet needed fixing. The landlords came by and we showed them to the bathroom with the two plumbers they had brought. There were at least six people in this room and one of the plumbers looks at me and starts speaking in Russian. I don't speak Russian, I said. He then says in English, 'Oh, you don't speak Russian?' I replied, 'No'. He gave me a look and went about his plumbing business. Okay, that was odd. A year later I was in a shop at a mall and had been discussing some items with a sales clerk. We'd been talking for some time, and she had an accent that sounded Russian. I have an American accent. Toward the end of our conversation she asks 'Have you ever been to Russia?' I reply: 'No'. Then she says, 'There's someone in Russia who looks just like you.' I'm mildly convinced I'm a sleeper agent or that I have a Russian twin." (Source reddit.com)

Spotted on Ponsonby Road. Photo / Supplied
Spotted on Ponsonby Road. Photo / Supplied

Wanton wood theft

John King of Beach Haven writes: "To the person or persons who stole the pensioners' pile of newly cut macrocarpa from Fairclough Rd in Beach Haven, we hope you enjoy it while we have to find other ways of heating this winter. That would have kept us going nicely." Anyone inclined to good deeds got any spare wood they could deliver to Beach Haven? Contact Sideswipe for details.

Local #1: Phillippa writes: "Auckland Public Library promotional material from 1928. When the council was really proud of the library and collections, especially the new music section. And also worried about borrowers not looking  after their books properly.

Local #2: Comedy writer Nic Sampson is having a bit of viral-love with his Spotify playlist for having sex.

Video: The ultimate nostalgia for older folk...The Six Million Dollar Man Opening Theme from 1974...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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23 Apr 05:00 PM
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Sideswipe: Big chickens only in Pukekohe

24 Apr 05:00 PM
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Sideswipe: One of a kind warning sign

25 Apr 05:00 PM
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Sideswipe: April 27: No flames? No worries.

26 Apr 05:00 PM
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