1. My mum tans in tanning beds constantly to the point where she looks like the outside of a baked potato. I told her one day she should stop because she can get skin cancer, and she told me that it's notpossible with tanning beds.
2. About 15 years ago, before the whole gluten-free trend, I worked with a guy who was a vegetarian. We worked side by side just the two of us and got along really well. One day, I got curious and asked what lead to his vegetarianism. He told me he had been having some health problems and went to see the doctor. Doc ran some tests, and told my friend that he should cut wheat out of his diet. This guy says, ''Well, that doesn't sound right. He must have meant meat instead of wheat.''
3. Old man I knew always had a bandaid on his nose. He had a cancerous growth on it and he would cut it off himself. He would always say: "All the doc will do is cut it off, I can do that myself and save $200."
A reader writes: "My doctor has often said to me that for 80 per cent of his patients, optimal care would be to say, 'Go home. You'll feel better in a day or two'. When the storm took the power out, all his appointments had to be postponed. His receptionist rang the patients three days later to reschedule, and 80 per cent of them said, 'Oh, it's all right: I'm better now'."
Excellent Op Shop finds
Jingle nostalgia: Honourable mentions
1. "Cap, shoes, Bata Bullets."
2. "You'll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent".
3. "Don't wait to be told you need Palmolive Gold!"
4. "Dishwashing Liquid Madge? It's Palmolive, you're soaking in it ..."
5. "Where'd I get my bag? 'Lands for Bags', of course."
6. "We've poured you a beer ... We've got the sharks out of the pool ... We've turned on the lights ... Where the bloody hell are you?"
