KEY POINTS:
Americans are gradually hearing the call to pitch in against global warming whether by driving hybrid cars or choosing eco-friendly light bulbs.
Reducing their carbon footprint from the comfort of their toilet seats, however, was not something many had thought about, at least until yesterday.
For taking the
debate down a scatological path we have Sheryl Crow, the rock musician, to thank.
Fresh from a cross-country tour of 11 university campuses in a bio-diesel bus aimed at raising awareness of global warming, she has called on her fellow citizens drastically to cut back on lavatory paper use.
"I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming," Ms Crow wrote on her website.
She was joined on her tour, which made a final stop at George Washington University in Washington DC on Sunday night, by Laurie David, the producer of Al Gore's film treatment of global warming, An Inconvenient Truth.
It is not clear exactly where Ms Crow was when she had her big bog-roll idea.
But whether the map said Illinois or Indiana, she, presumably, was in the smallest room on the bus.
"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting," she said.
Americans are an "industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required."
Not born yesterday, Ms Crow - she is in fact 45 and has nine Grammy Awards to her name - is seeking to close a potential loophole in her plan by similarly seeking to outlaw paper napkins, which in some households have been known to deputise in the bathroom when the last roll runs out.
Mucky eaters need not despair, however, because Ms Crow has a fantastic fashion innovation for all of us to try.
It is called the 'dining sleeve', which, after completing its wiping and dabbing duties at mealtimes, can be detached from your outfit and a fresh one zipped or buttoned in its place.
Noting that paper napkins are "made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness", Ms Crow is convinced that her sleeve contrivance will quickly catch on.
"The design will offer the 'diner' the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product," she writes on her site.
"I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold".
Does Ms Crow imagine the sleeve playing a part in toilet activities when "one square" just isn't enough? In the war against global warming, we should be prepared to contemplate just about anything.
- INDEPENDENT
