“What matters far less is when the President posts about me, which he did over the weekend, saying, among other things, that I may be the ‘least talented person to perform live in the history of television’, calling me a ‘deranged lunatic’ and commenting that I ‘talked endlessly about electric catapults on aircraft carriers’.”
The comedian continued: “Look, in general, I try to live by the New Yorker’s creed: when someone is ranting and raving about you, ignore them.
“Chances are, they’re just going to move on and rant about something else.
“But there is one thing that I simply have to address.
“You can say I’m untalented, you can say I’m deranged, but I’m not the one who talks endlessly about catapults on aircraft carriers. You’re the one who talks endlessly about catapults on aircraft carriers.”
Meyers then played a compilation of clips showing Trump repeatedly discussing catapults on aircraft carriers during past speeches, drawing laughter from the audience.
After the footage aired, Meyers said: “You can say whatever you want about me, that is your First Amendment right, which I have too, right? We all have it? But how dare you say I talk endlessly about catapults.”
He also questioned inconsistencies in Trump’s claims about when he last watched Late Night with Seth Meyers.
“You wrote that you watched for the first time in years,” Meyers said.
“But just 10 months ago, you wrote, ‘I got stuck watching Marble Mouth Myers the other night for the first time in months’. First of all, ‘stuck’?
“I find it hard to believe you let other people decide what to put on. Everything about your vibe screams, ‘I call the clicker’. “Second, which is it? You watched me for the first time in years this week, or you watched for the first time in months in January?”
“Do you not remember? Is that how you end up posting six times about a new bathroom? Did you just forget the first five times?
“Tomorrow, by the way, I’m probably going to wake up to a Trump post that says, ‘Seth Meyers won’t stop talking about the White House bathroom’.
“But also, like, who am I kidding? Who am I kidding? He’s not going to watch two shows in a row.”
Meyers ended the segment by acknowledging the absurdity of the exchange.
“I say this with sincerity: I don’t want to talk about catapults. I don’t want to talk about bathrooms. And I’m realising that I’m starting to sound like a deranged lunatic.
“But that’s what you do to us. You make us talk about what you’re talking about, and then we all sound crazy.”
