Scott Kara: Games anthem leaves me flat

Music producer Mark Ronson. Photo / Supplied

Opinion

Item 1: Not that I'm a highly trained super-athlete or anything. Crikey, I'd be left in the dust by Valerie Adams in a 20m dash.

But I do ride my bike to work every day and I don't know about you, but I like my sporty music to have a bit of oomph to it. You know, something with a bit of "Grrrrr" to get you pumped, so it inspires you to try to beat that bus and swerve around that idiot who just opened their car door in front of you.

And on the hills there's nothing quite like a surging electronic mantra - Kraftwerk's Tour de France perhaps? - to get you over the summit.

Which is why I'm not so sure about the new synth and beat-powered psyche-up anthem, Anywhere In the World, which music producer and wunderkind Mark Ronson has come up with for the Olympics as part of a Coca-Cola campaign (the official games theme, First Steps, is by British band Elbow and will be released on June 26).

Anywhere In the World is kind of clever, because Ronson is a clever musical bugger, no doubt. He has recorded various athletes doing their sports and incorporated their breathing (Russian sprinter Kseniya Vdovina), grunts (British table tennis player Darius Knight), and thwacks (Singaporean archer Dayyan Jaffar) into the song.

But it's hardly a song to help, say, our Valerie propel her shotput past the magical 21m mark. It's more like the sound of watered-down Coke, or flat Coke even, which, funnily enough is supposedly a sought-after liquid refresher by some athletes at the end of a long, hard race. So maybe that's what Ronson was commissioned for: the Coke Zero with no fizz for rehydrating at the Olympics campaign.

Item 2: Speaking of liquid let downs - a Motorhead beer? Really? I'm a little disappointed. It should have been a Motorhead bourbon considering that's legendary frontman Lemmy's favourite tipple. But beer it is; Motorhead's new brew is called Bastards Lager and is described as "the perfect thirst-quencher on the beach with a Motorhead track coming through your headphones at high volume". The only problem is, it's only being sold in Sweden at this stage so Kiwi Motorhead fans will have to be content to swill the local brew made by our very own Beastwars (it's pretty scarce I've been told, though they might be putting down a new batch for the summer).

Item 3: The gang on The GC liked their booze too. And last night, New Zealand viewers said a fond farewell to Tame, Jade-Louise, Rosie and the other members of the gang. Actually, many of you probably didn't say goodbye at all, more like good riddance, because the show has had its haters.

I met the entire cast one night a few months ago when I went to the GC to do a story on the show. They were all very nice people, though perhaps a little wary of me and also slightly apprehensive about revealing their lives on the show. But, as the series proved, they were not shy about getting their well-preened mugs and buff bods on the box.

And over eight half-hour episodes (albeit with only around eight minutes worth of viewing after you take into account Tame's opening spiel, the bikini babe shots, and the recaps) they have done just that, and both enthralled and angered the nation.

But what will happen to The GC gang now? Of course, Rosie will be back on our screens soon trying to belt the living daylights out of Ridgey.

But what of Tame, his best mates Jade and Zane, and the girls? Will we see them back on telly? TV3 says there is no word on a second series yet, but when I met the cast before the show began screening a few of them were already talking about the possibility of a second series.

So lovers and haters watch this space. Last night's final episode may not be the last you hear of The GC.

- TimeOut