Robbie Williams performing on stage in 2022. Photo / Getty Images
Robbie Williams has revealed he’s been secretly living with what he described as “inside Tourette’s” and frequently battles “intrusive thoughts”.
The pop star shared the news of his secret battle on the Welch comedian Paul Welsh and Dr Mine Conkbayir’s podcast I’m ADHD! No You’re Not.
“I’ve just realised that I have Tourette’s, but they don’t come out,” he said on the podcast. “I was just walking down the road the other day and I realised that these intrusive thoughts are ‘inside Tourette’s.’”
Tourette Syndrome is a genetic neurological disorder characterised by repetitive, involuntary vocalisations and movements, known as tics. Tics can range from simple motor actions like eye blinking to more complex vocal sounds.
Williams said he has become an “Olympian at masking” his symptoms but admitted that the condition makes it very difficult to perform live.
“I have a very complicated relationship with touring and performing live,” he said. “People say: ‘Oh, you going on tour? You must be really, really excited.’ Not really. I’m terrified.
“I will look full of bravado and look pompous and look smug and do these grand gestures, which have worked for me because they put my face on the poster and people still buy tickets,” Williams added. “But actually what’s happening is I feel like the opposite of that all the time, most of the time.”
Williams also shared that he recently took an autism test that came back negative but showed he has “autistic traits”.
He has previously spoken candidly about being diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia.
On the podcast, he recalled how he’s had to be diagnosed with ADHD three times and spoke of feeling like “you’re always looking for a cure”.
“The first one was around 2006, where I saw these things, ADHD, on the internet. I’m like, ‘all of those things are me.’ Wow,” he said. “And then I started to hear that you could get some medicine that behaved a bit like speed, right? Adderall.
“So, I go see the guy and I’m like, ‘I already know I’m all of these things. I already know that.’ So, I’ll go and say this, then you give me the thing. And he gave me the thing.
“There was a relief that I’d got it officially diagnosed, but then also there was more a relief that I was getting 200 of these tablets and then I thought the tablets might fix me because you’re always looking for the cure.
“You’re always looking for the cure for the ailment of the disease inside your head. So I quickly went from taking the pills to crushing them and snorting them!”
The British pop singer has also been open about his struggles with addiction.
In the podcast, he says things have been better for him lately.
“It’s getting better. I would say it’s gotten better from 45 onwards. This particular tour that I’m now in, I’m very pleased to say, for me, is that I’m dead excited to do my show that I’m doing tomorrow and I was excited to do one last week,” he said.
However, he still gets triggered by PTSD from his years performing with Take That.
“I said to the wife while I was rehearsing, I said, I’ve got that PTSD stuff about performance, whatever it was in the Take That years and whatever it was subsequently when I got to the top of the mountain and it didn’t fix me. In fact, it made things worse inside me.
“Whatever all of that stuff was, I still get triggered from it and it still affects me,” he added.
The 51-year-old global star credits his wife, Ayda Field Williams, for helping shift his perspective when it comes to the anxieties of performing live in front of tens of thousands of people, by highlighting how lucky he is he gets to do what he loves in front of so many people - and how that might not always be the case.
“There was something about that moment in particular that just changed the perception, and the gratitude came in for where I am, who I am, what I’m allowed to do, what they allow me to do, what I experience.
“And in that moment, thinking about maybe never being able to do it again because of waning popularity or death or whatever it is, in that moment, it just changed my perception,” he said.
“But 80,000 people never changed my opinion about me.”