NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Entertainment

Pop star pens essay defending her bisexuality 'phase'

Independent
10 Apr, 2014 12:52 AM7 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Jessie J has defended her bisexuality as a 'phase'.

Jessie J has defended her bisexuality as a 'phase'.

She did warn us that her tweet, responding to the backlash she received from followers after labelling her bisexuality "a phase", was going to be more than 120 characters.

And indeed it was.

In fact, UK pop star Jessie J went to great lengths to defend her comments, denying that she ever "lied" about her sexuality to her followers in a weighty, 1082-word essay.

Her timeline was apparently flooded with responses after an interview she conducted with The Mirror earlier this week.

"For me, [bisexuality] was a phase," she said. "But I'm not saying bisexuality is a phase for everybody."

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

She went on to admit she wanted to "stop talking about it completely" and find herself "a husband.

"It's a true struggle. All the chick flicks that didn't make sense to me, I now understand - Sex and the City is real!"

The question is, can you make it through the verbal gauntlet all the way to the end without running face-first into an exclamation mark?

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Read it in full below:

"Warning: This tweet is defo over 120 characters.... The hate on my TL is uncalled for and ridiculous! I never lied about my sexuality, I never labelled myself, the media and some of the public did. I said almost 5 years ago now. I have dated girls and boys. Quote me! Which I had! Am I denying that...?No! I was young and I experimented! Who hasn't? Not with just this topic, but anything! It's part of life! No lies there. So happened I was becoming famous at the very same time and felt pressure to tell everyone all my business that really looking back was really no ones to know. I fell for a person who happened to be a girl. Every other relationship I've had has been with a man. My record label didn't care and it wasn't part of my launch! Then I was asked in an interview back in the day about relationships, first time ever, and I was honest and then BAM it took over, the word bisexual before my name on almost every article I read? Like I had to say it when I introduced myself?

"It was crazy! Instantly I was boxed. But at the same time felt I was put forward as spokes person to break out of those same boxes? Weird. Who made it a big deal? Me? No. The media? Yes. I'm not looking for sympathy I am just being real. And yeah I have learnt to keep things private the hard way because of this exact reason. So I keep my relationships private now. To keep my sanity. I put it into songs not articles that can be edited. I apologise to anyone who is offended by me calling dating girls a "phase" but I have to be honest with me for me. And for me it was. What else do I call it if I no longer have a want for it anymore? I'm talking for me remember. Not you. I didn't generalise, I didn't say bisexuality isn't real. It is for some and some people grow up dating both men and woman forever. And that's ok. And some don't. Simple. And I don't have any reason to lie? Should I have lied and said I am bi, because I'm not, yet isn't that worse than telling the truth? How would of people have reacted then?

"Please tell me what I have done wrong here? I haven't spoken of being bi for years. All my songs are sung from me about "him". I didn't discuss my personal life in my autobiography. Which came out 2 years ago. Reading "Jessie J comes out as straight" today, even typing that feels absolutely ridiculous. What has the world come to? Lol! Seriously, this is crazy. The media of course are going to make this a HUGE thing. Which they are. for your originality. But I won't stand down and be made to feel like I have killed someone or said something that deserves the messages I am currently receiving. I did and still do stand for love who you love, whichever gender that is. And I will continue to stand for it and just not act on it because I don't want to. It isn't who I am. I see my fans becoming who they are and it's amazing! Whatever sexuality they chose, or have chosen, love is love.

Discover more

Entertainment

Secret? I have never hidden my sexuality, says Jessie J

20 Apr 03:00 AM
Entertainment

Pop star Jessie J writing a musical

24 Apr 07:00 PM
Opinion

Jessie J faces copyright infringement lawsuit (+video)

28 Jun 12:00 AM
Entertainment

Jessie J won't strip for Thicke's new video

29 Aug 05:00 AM

"Everyone has their own journey and story, and mine can't go how you would rather it go. I have to live for me. Just to be clear this was NEVER a publicity stunt or for album sales. I won't even argue that point. Because it's just so silly and such a lazy accusation that I won't even go there. I will say this, the reason I decided to put it out there in a more direct way. Even though it isn't what I thought I would ever even do. Is because some people believed what they read instead of what I was/am saying and singing about then and now. I was getting increasingly frustrated with still feeling like sexuality was defining me as an artist. Behind close doors I am evolving into the woman I want to be forever, wanting a husband and kids one day and dreaming up my future just like everyone else. Yet I go to work and it was like people were 3 years behind and wanted me to be someone Im not.

"I soon realised unless I said it more in black and white it would continue. People accusing me of dating my female friends, yet when I was out with a man I was actually dating no one would say anything or even notice. Weird. People were seeing and noticing what they wanted and not looking at the truth. So I as I am writing my 3rd album I believe I owe it to myself and my fans to be me. Which I am doing tbh, just speaking on something to set the record straight. That wasn't supposed to be a joke. And at 26 I shouldn't be anything but. Whatever backlash and hurtful things I will incur. I am only singing about loving a man and being broken hearted by a man. Because I only date men. I want my music to come out and people understand where it's coming from, and for me not to feel guilty when people are painting a picture of me when the brush isn't in my hand. I took the brush back. I have always been true, and honest.

"Which is so rare in this industry. I will admit maybe not always gone about it the right way but hey I'm still new to all of this too remember. I ask that you support my music. As I did back in 2010 on YouTube. I ask that you respect that I don't judge you on every detail of your past as I will never know of your past. And you let mind stay as mine and let me continue to grow and change just like every other human being. I will not speak on this topic anymore. It's irrelevant to what this dream Is supposed to be about. Irrelevant to why people even know who I am if they do in the first place! The music! It needs to be about the music. Thank you to everyone who supports my music. Now to the studio I go to finish my 3rd album."

Congratulations - you've won ... absolutely nothing. But well done for getting this far. She lost us at the first 'Lol!'.

- Independent

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Entertainment

Entertainment

Is Harry Jowsey dating Sia?

Entertainment

Jamie Lee Curtis cops backlash for awkward red carpet incident

Entertainment

Shawn Levy navigates Clint Eastwood's legacy in new biography


Sponsored

Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Entertainment

Is Harry Jowsey dating Sia?
Entertainment

Is Harry Jowsey dating Sia?

The unlikely pair were spotted in a hands-on embrace in Los Angeles.

21 Jul 03:41 AM
Jamie Lee Curtis cops backlash for awkward red carpet incident
Entertainment

Jamie Lee Curtis cops backlash for awkward red carpet incident

21 Jul 03:13 AM
Shawn Levy navigates Clint Eastwood's legacy in new biography
Entertainment

Shawn Levy navigates Clint Eastwood's legacy in new biography

21 Jul 12:55 AM


Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper
Sponsored

Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper

01 Jul 04:58 PM
NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP