At the other end of the spectrum, yet not without its charms, is Vinnie Jones: Russia's Toughest (Tuesday, 9.30pm Nat Geo) in which British 'ardman, Vinnie Jones hangs out with tough Russians doing tough things.
The first mission is with a man called Sergei who runs a poacher hunting operation themselves on the hunt for salmon rustlers. Vinnie is immediately talking tough. "I'm prepared to smash these fellows 'cause what they're doing is wrong."
He's amped and ready for action. "Things could kick off at any moment" he promises, though it soon becomes clear that nothing is likely to "kick off" except for Vinnie's increasingly desperate attempts at invoking danger.
"This is the big one" he yells as they approacha camp. Naturally this is followed by a lot of standing around and muttering. The 'poachers' turn out to be legit and their paperwork is in order.
Eventually they do find a lone poacher. It's not unlike a scene from Coastwatch, yet Vinnie attempts to turn it into the siege of Stalingrad.
"We could easily be ambushed" he mutters as they approach the lone fisherman, "the guy could be tooled up." The man is armed with a fish. Vinnie interrogates him, "I just asked him why he doesn't use a rod and he says he found the net in the woods." Despite what he promised earlier Vinnie does not dish out summary execution or even deliver so much as a Liverpool kiss. The man's net is confiscated and he's given a ticket.
Later in the show Vinnie heads to Siberia where another man named Sergei is hunting more poachers. This time he's just as fired up and is ranting about the dangers, barking away about the "harsh Russian wilderness" or the "hungry bears" making them "sitting ducks" and don't forget about the "ruthless bands of armed poachers." He needn't have worried.
In a scene that could be straight out of Top Gear, the poacher-hunters head out in tanks to search for the poachers. It's spectacular enough but the only danger to be found is down to bad driving. Vinnie still tries to keep us in a state of nervous awareness. "It's our worst nightmare coming true - a tank swallowing bog." Which translates as a tank stuck in the mud. He was still worried when they freed the tank, fearing the "man-eating bears and armed poachers." The worst that happens is that they are late for dinner.
Still Vinnie eventually finds some bears at least, and he has a certain charm as he attempts the sort of commentary that's best left to David Attenborough. "Hells bells. I need to change me underpants"
The Central Park Five, Crime and Investigation (Sky 71) 8.30pm Tuesday
Vinnie Jones: Russia's Toughest, Nat Geo, (Sky 72) Tuesdays, 9.30pm.