We're just a week away from the return of Game of Thrones. So the Herald's entertainment team decided to spend all week talking about it. Here's our third instalment: Our Game of Thrones fantasies. Before you horribly misjudge this, below is what we would like to see happen and not
Our Game of Thrones fantasies revealed
NZ Herald
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More specifically, I want her to seduce the hell out of Yara and get Team Dany on side and then join forces with Sansa, Arya and Lyanna (not Jon, Jon's dead in this fantasy) in The North to take care of the White Walkers and then live happily ever after - ideally with a puppy she would mostly likely call Lil' Hound, and a goldfish for Yara which she would call Ser Swimsalot.
They'd have all the red wine anyone could want, served to them by Littlefinger, their servant who fans them with palm fronds imported from Dorne. Life would be swell, except that every month without fail, a raven would arrive from Lady Olenna reading everyone to filth, just because she can. Spin-off, anyone?
George Fenwick: Remember when Missandei told Daenarys that "all men must die," to which Daenarys replied, "but we are not men"? I do. And if Jon Snow is allowed to not die, there's another character that deserves to be revived: Catelyn Stark. I miss Catelyn with all my heart, and I think the series had an interesting opportunity to parallel two different types of motherhood; Catelyn's diplomatic ferociousness next to Cersei Lannister's bitterly protective tyranny.
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So here's an idea; Melisandre revives Catelyn Stark.
Catelyn assesses the situation in Westeros and realises everyone is being really bloody silly; while everyone bickers over who deserves the throne, Catelyn sees that there's a more pressing problem in that there are literal ice zombies preparing to decimate them all. Catelyn convinces Cersei, Arya, Sansa & Jon, Daenarys, Yara and the Sand Snakes to stop squabbling and band together to obliterate the White Walkers with dragons on their side. As a zombie herself, Catelyn's at the front line destroying them all because she cannot die. Hire me, HBO.
Karl Puschmann: My Game of Thrones fantasy is a relatively simple one. Cut the crap.
This is a show that started so strong and then got better. But somewhere along the way it started pulling cheap stunts to a) create false drama and b) get itself out of trouble.
The most obvious example being the BS resurrection of Jon Snow, which I'll probably never stop going on about.
A more recent example was Arya having her sight magically restored. After disobeying a sacred rule the head of the shadowy Faceless Men blinded her to teach her a lesson about sacred rules and why you don't break them. She continued her training and became a blind badass assassin. Had she then left the faceless academy her character would have been infinitely more interesting. But that's not what happened. Instead, a bit of the ol' magic and she got her sight back. All good m8! Rubbish.
The show needs stakes. Terrible things can't simply be reversed by "magic" all the damn time. That's just cheap storytelling. Cut it out.
Read our first instalment here: Which storyline are we most invested in?
and our second instalment here: Which character do we most want to die next?
*Game of Thrones' seventh season debuts on Monday at 1pm on Sky TV's SoHo channel, and replays on Neon.
