Oscars hangover - the good, the bad and the gossip

Sean Penn's speech as he presented the Best Actress award left some scratching their heads. Photo / AP

They say bad things always happen in threes. That being the case, temperamental little wriggler and acting giant Sean Penn's definitely had his run.

Strike one: That shady 'pap attack' back in October 2009. Penn, who has a history of violent confrontations with lens lizards, was filmed during a clash with one particular snapper in Los Angeles.

He was recently charged with misdemeanour battery and vandalism after allegedly kicking a photographer in the leg and breaking his camera during the incident.

Penn is due in court on March 22. He faces a maximum of 18 months behind bars if convicted.

Video of the pap confrontation here:

Strike two:

Penn's recent lashing out at Haiti haters. The acerbic actor hit the headlines again at the tail-end of last week after making naughty remarks against critics of his Haitian earthquake relief efforts.

In a CBS interview, Penn lashed out at folk who branded his visit to Haiti as self-serving.

"I haven't had an awful lot of time to pay attention to them," Penn said.

"Do I hope that those people die screaming of rectal cancer? Yeah, you know, but I'm not going to spend a lot of energy on it."

Dude, as angry as you may be with your detractors, wishing cancer on anyone is the very definition of ugly.

Strike three:

There are reports swirling that Penn was involved in a bit of a ding-ding at the Oscars.

According to E!, Academy Award-winner Penn was kicked out of the Oscars Governor's Ball last night after the ceremony.

Word is Penn allegedly got into an argument with

The Hurt Locker

producer

Greg Shapiro

backstage. It's been suggested that the reason behind the supposed 'snafu' may have something to do with the fact that Penn's ex

Robin Wright

is now dating Shapiro...

"Academy officials...said he [Penn] was banned from the Ball," claimed the E! report.

Penn's rep has trashed the claims and insists there was no confrontation.

She tells X17online: "I saw nothing between the two of them [Shapiro]. Sean did not get banned nor kicked out of the Governors Ball or any other function last night."

And an Academy Official has just spouted, saying: "Sean Penn chose not to attend the Governor's Ball."

That may well be the case. But was his no-show of his own volition? Oh, the Scandal!

Meanwhile, tongues have been wagging about Penn's speech while presenting the award for Best Actress. Seemingly delving in to a spot of improv, he said: "I never became an official member of the Academy, but the Academy and I do have in common that we neglected to acknowledge the same actress in our own ways two years running.

"So I'm going to start fresh with the Academy and acknowledge these wonderful actresses." Eh? What was he on about?

Video: Sean Penn's 'babbling' speech

We think we've cracked it. He's probably talking about his ex Robin - who he conspicuously left out of his acceptance speech after winning Best Actor at the ceremony last year.

Folklore has it the then-couple had agreed that he "wouldn't have time to include her" (we don't buy that for a second). The fact that they officially split a few months later says it all.

Enough of the poison Penn.

Here are some of our highlights and lowlights from this year's Oscars (not all of them on camera):

*

The

John Hughes

tribute - A passionate and moving tribute to the late director that reunited key members of the Brat Pack -

Molly Ringwald

,

Matthew Broderick

, et al.

Hughes was the legendary director behind 80s classics

The Breakfast Club

,

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

and

Pretty in Pink

. He died of a heart attack last August, aged 59.

*

Kathryn Bigelow

's wins - She kicked history in the ghoulies and became the first woman ever to win the Best Director gong for her work on

The Hurt Locker

. Yes, sisters really are doing it for themselves.

*

Sandra Bullock

- After bagging her win for Best Actress, Bullock said she planned on taking her shoes off and heading to the nearest burger joint. We don't think she was kidding.

After her win she quipped: "I just want to eat! I just want to sit down and take my shoes off, and take my dress off, and eat a burger - and not worry that my dress is going to bust open.

"Sorry that's all I can give you, but I just want to eat! And take a nap."

We'll admit it, she won us over yesterday. It's like

Miss Congeniality

never happened. Actually no, scrap that.

*

Madonna

's party tanty - Oh dear, sounds like all that Kaballah hasn't mellowed the Queen Mother of Pop at all. Reports say Madge had a bit of a 'moment' at LA's newest exclusive private member's club, Soho House, during Elton John's pre-Oscars party.

Britain's

Mirror

claims Her Madgesty threw a tanty when her favourite brand of vodka - Belvedere - wasn't on hand.

A snitch at the event says: "Madonna walked in with her manager

Guy Oseary

and her entourage and ordered a Belvedere vodka.

"It was left to one rather nervous waiter to tell her only Grey Goose was available and when he did all hell broke loose.

F-bombs...

"Madonna was dropping F-bombs like they were going out of fashion. Fortunately Guy was able to calm her down. But she sulked about the vodka and ordered a virgin mojito instead.

"She was clearly up for a drink, but wasn't prepared to compromise on her vodka choice."

And there's more. Poor

Jane Fonda

was also in Madge's firing line.

"Jane spotted Madonna and yelled, 'Hey Madonna! It's me... Jane'," adds the

Mirror

's snitch.

"But Madonna didn't even turn to look at her and just said, 'Hey Jane' as she marched past."

Oh Madge, we salute you. Nobody plays a B.I.T.C.H (Babe In Total Control Of Herself) like you can.

*

Posh off! Loved this snippet about

Gerard Butler

getting irritated by professional trout-pout

Victoria Beckham

at the Oscars. She apparently landed on the red runway at the same time as him and caused a hold-up because of her constant posing for the snappers. Butler went off in a huff and headed straight for the Kodak Theatre.

But Butler's detour might be down to him taking a leaf out of

Tom Cruise

's book. Cruise is renowned for skipping off the red carpet at premieres to greet his fans. It's a nice diversion tactic. Why? He gets to avoid the media and the fans get some face time.

*

Fawcett's Oscars snub. There's also been talk about the Academy's apparent omission of

Farrah Fawcett

from the In Memoriam Oscar montage during the broadcast.

Golden Girls

actress

Bea Arthur

was also left out.

Responding to criticism they'd omitted to shine a light on the stars, the Academy says in a statement to

Radaronline

: "It is highly unlikely that we forgot about Farrah Fawcett but we unfortunately don't include everyone each year.

"There are many angles that are looked at as to who to include and unfortunately we don't include everyone."

*

Antonio Banderas

piles on the years - Jaws dropped when we clapped eyes on the usually dapper and dashing Banderas at the event. Take a look at the Latino star and his face-fuzz

here

.

In other news...

*

Heard the one about

Tom Cruise

falling off his motorbike? Reports surfaced yesterday that the

Top Gun

star had been involved in a motorcycle accident on Oscar day in Los Angeles.

Word was Cruise came off his Ducati ride when a car drove through a stop sign in front of him, forcing him to swerve and hit another car. The elaborate report also had the star limping his way to the nearest hospital.

Total tosh, says his rep via Twitter: "Some of you may have heard/seen via the internet that Tom was involved in a motorcycle accident today.

"To set the record straight, this story has no basis in reality what-so-ever... Tom tells us he hasn't been on his bike in days due to the weather, but when it clears up, look out."

*

Peaches Geldof

dating

Eli Roth

? The daughter of

Sir Bob Geldof

was Roth's arm candy at the

Vanity Affair

after party, and they were snapped holding hands. Cue reports of a romance. Snaps

here

.

*

Coming soon:

Katie Price

, The movie. We kid you not. Read it and weep

here

.

*

Cash cow?

Lady Gaga

's promoter defends hike in ticket prices in the UK. Stink

here

.

Must-watch: Iron Man 2 Trailer:

*

Lil Wayne

has finally been thrown in the nick. After being postponed twice, the rapper has now been sentenced to a

year in prison

.

*

Regrets, she has a few.

Barbara Walters

thinks she may have tanked

Ricky Martin

's career - because she

probed him about his sexuality

during an interview.

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