“I was sort of under the pump again, and there was the lambing and putting in the new lawn and talks all around New Zealand, and I was, uh, producing, directing a TV show, and, I was doing the sports coaching and, and I had to finish this bloody book.
“And the first book I wrote was during the pandemic and the lockdown, I had heaps of time, and last year, I didn’t have any time at all. And when I needed to take a break, I actually had to punch out another 2000 words for the day.
“And it just sort of got a little bit relentless and I got a little bit over it, and so it wasn’t that good all over again, which is kind of ironic for a mental health advocate.”
Chisholm said that he is now able to identify more easily when things are going wrong.
He recalled running into Marc Ellis at a rural event earlier this year and telling him about slipping back into depression.
“He goes, wow, what an amazing opportunity, and I was like, 100%. That’s how I’m seeing it now because I’ve slipped in and out of this stuff so often, that I do see it as an opportunity now. It’s just an opportunity to get better. And I know what I need to do. And I just needed to say no a few more times and think about me and get a bit of time back.”
Bennett said that she has become better at identifying this as well, but wasn’t as good when she was at the height of her political career.
“So much pressure, so little sleep, everything going on, everything going wrong, not enough time with family, all of that sort of stuff, I would get to a stage where I would get so sick I’d generally be hospitalised every couple of years.
“And then I realised most of this is almost mental health and I’m just not taking the time out when I need it to actually keep myself well and of course, as you say, we get older, we get wiser, I learned to block things out in my diary of two or three days, once every sort of five weeks.”
Chisholm’s big move to put his mental health and happiness first has been detailed in his new book, The Road to Chatto Creek, explores his big move from Auckland back to Otago.
He admitted that it was a scary decision, influenced by the fact he had not properly started his TV career until he was 30.
“My older brother had this accident on the footy field and I went and cared for him and looked after him and helped him want to live his life for a while.
“I was in the Television New Zealand newsroom and did the reality TV for about 12 years before I sort of thought, this isn’t bringing me happiness.”
Leaving that behind, Chisholm said he struggled with who he’d be if he wasn’t a journalist and a reality TV host, and that 30 ha isn’t economic as a farm.
“So I was essentially putting my hobby, or my lifestyle, ahead of my career. And we’re not supposed to do that at the age of 40 something.
“And so it was really scary, and I just in the end felt the fear and did it anyway.”
Listen to the full episode for more from Chisholm on the rural-urban divide, what he’s learned about farming and our farmers, and why he thinks he’s burnt his bridges in the media.
The Road to Chatto Creek is out now.
Ask Me Anything is an NZ Herald podcast hosted by former Deputy Prime Minister Paula Bennett. New episodes are available every Sunday.
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