Bec and Gia put aside their differences and indulge in some daytime drinking.
Married At First Sight’s warring wives secretly flee Trash Tower to day drink in a pub on Monday where they call a ceasefire – bonding over nuanced revelations about their bad sex lives and how their husbands look like amphibians.
It’s a classic literary conceit: the enemies-to-lovers twist. This has formed the basis of some of our greatest narrative works. Pride & Prejudice. You’ve Got Mail. Ten Things I Hate About You.
And now? Gia and Bec on Married At First Sight. Jane Austen could never.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the real love story of the experiment. Bec and Gia started out as the show’s most toxic couple. But after weeks of name-calling and trying to expose each other with screenshots of text messages, they’ve put down their weapons (read: iPhones).
Both women have declared their love to their husbands. And both their husbands have refused to return the feelings. So, there’s only one thing to do: put aside their differences and get day drunk on room temperature white wine while trash talking the men.
They skip into the beer garden hand-in-hand.
“Love you!” Bec squeals.
“Love you!” Gia gushes.
“F*** these men,” Bec spits.
Gia agrees. “Literally. F*** ‘em.”
The pub is empty (after all, it’s 1pm on a Tuesday) but the wine glasses are full.
Bec launches into a sloppy tirade about how girls rule and boys drool.
“We’ve got these men who are … boys. Sorry, I’m gonna say it – they’re acting like boys!” she rants.
Now seems like an appropriate time to point out the mean girl, high school nonsense Bec and Gia have been carrying on with for three months that involves, but is not limited to, name-calling, gossiping, backstabbing, public drunken tantrums, sharing text message screenshots, and spreading a rumour about, ahem, fingerbanging.
But, sure. Tell us more about these immature little boys.
“Pussy! He’s being a pussy!” Bec hollers about Gia’s husband, Scott. “We lay ourselves out on the table! You said you love him! I told Danny I love him! And they haven’t said it back.”
Huh. Wonder why? It really is so perplexing!
Bec’s on a roll. Next item on the agenda? Her bad sex life and how Danny looks like Kermit.
“I’ve never said anything about Daniel and our sex life … But, like, once a week isn’t something that I’m into. I’m, like, five times a week,” she mocks.
“We are 100% giving everything. These men are not giving it back! And sorry, I’m gonna sit here and say it: neither of them are that hot! Danny’s not that hot – he looks like a frog. Scott’s not that hot, he’s got a pointy nose.”
Given Bec’s well-documented history with body image and surgery, it seems peculiar that she’d feel so comfortable voicing these opinions on camera.
As usual, Bec refuses to contemplate the fact that her own behaviour might be contributing to her stale marriage.
“Ya know what? These men are little bitches. I’m sorry, they’re intimidated by strong women,” she spits between glugs of sav blanc.
This is one of Bec’s go-to justifications and I’ve adopted it. Feel free to use it in your own lives. Sideswipe a row of seven parked cars? Don’t you dare arrest me, officer. You’re just intimidated by strong women.
The day drinking continues and we watch the dynamic of the show’s new power duo. Bec – so excited to finally be invited into the orbit of the queen mean girl – is desperate to impress and runs her mouth. Meanwhile, Gia sits back – keeping her mouth shut and her hands clean by letting Bec do most of the trash talking.
“We may have had beef in the past,” Bec muses about her frenemy. “But when it comes down to it: women need to support women.”
This declaration about the importance of female unity is coming from the same lady who is alleged to have launched an Adelaide-wide smear campaign about one of her fellow brides. But, sure – women supporting women!
“Both of our husbands are duds,” Bec says. “But we’ve found each other. I’m so glad this has happened.”
A match made in hell.
The next morning, as the hangover sets in, Bec has a realisation.
“I feel … just a bit s***,” she croaks. “I was mean yesterday about Daniel. I think I called him a couple of names in my anger, so … let’s hope that doesn’t come out. I’m in self-protection mode here.”
Ah, yes. Another of Bec’s go-to justifications that we can all adopt. HR pulls you into a meeting for being passive-aggressive to a colleague at the office Zip tap? I’m in self-protection mode!
After all Bec’s talk about how unattractive and inadequate the men are, producers decide to set up a lunch so the wives can meet some new blokes.
It’s one of the final confronting tasks of the experiment: everyone meets their alternative matches – the back-ups the experts had on standby in the selection process.
Bec, sunburnt and disoriented after her day of drinking, borrows Gia’s lip gloss to glam herself up. And at the dinner table, she immediately initiates some light chit chat with all the alternative husbands.
“Hands up if you’re circumcised! Do ya have a big dipper?” she screams.
Rebecca! This is not the behaviour we expect from a lady who lives in a A$3 million ($3.6m) house with a A$97,000 mortgage in the most affluent suburb of South Australia.
She then launches into a tight-five stand-up routine, mocking her husband to her potential replacement groom.
“My husband looks like Conor McGregor. But from Temu. He’s Kmart Conor,” she announces.
“You’re hot,” the alternative husband grunts back.
Bec continues her charm offensive. “Someone who wants to f*** me. My husband and I hardly have any sex. He’s not into me but he won’t say it.”
Then, confusing everyone, she adds: “He’s the most important person ever to me. I’m happy.”
Across the table, Gia is flirting with her alternative match, who’s making no secret of the fact he wants to take her back to his hotel.
She admits she’d hook up with him if they met in the real world.
“I’m done in a week,” she says of her marriage to Scott, who is across town right now, hiding in a public bathroom stall with David and Filip because they refuse to go ahead with the scandalous challenge of meeting their alternative wives.
Gia’s alt husband grabs a pen to write down his number. Gia refuses to accept it on camera.
“Give it to me! And I’ll give it to her when she needs it later!” Bec volunteers, snatching the digits.
In the world of MAFS, that’s what they call women supporting women.
Married at First Sight screens Sundays to Wednesdays on Three and Three Now