Juliette publicly humiliates her husband Joel at a dinner party, calling him the C-word.
A Married At First Sight wife attempts to become the main character at Wednesday’s drunken dinner party when she publicly humiliates her husband and calls him the C-word, leaving the series’ villain to express stunned disapproval, which is kind of like being told by Satan that you’re being rude.
That wife is Juliette, who has spent the past week barricaded in her bedroom refusing to speak to Joel after discovering his YouTube channel and a video that features him playing the drums with two dildos.
But tonight, she emerges – ready to gaslight, spread misinformation and, ultimately, drive a stake through her husband’s heart like a dildo through a snare drum.
Juliette’s strategy for the drunken dinner party is simple: be nice to Joel’s face so he doesn’t expose her cruelty, then tell everyone else he’s wonderful while simultaneously spreading rumours that he’s a narcissist. It’s a confusing game plan, but she commits.
“Joel confessed he thinks he’s the star of the show,” she announces to the table.
Joel denies it.
“I’m down to earth and humble,” he insists, which is debatable given the dildo drumming.
But producers helpfully roll some flashback footage of the alleged quote.
“You don’t see the star in me,” he had told Juliette during an argument after she’d spent the day belittling him.
Clearly, Juliette is misquoting him to make him sound more ridiculous. Though … the words he actually uttered are only slightly less embarrassing.
Juliette doesn’t care about technicalities.
“He looked me dead in the eyes and said, ‘Well I’M the STAR!’” she declares, mocking her husband further with theatrical delivery.
Joel is bewildered. The table is confused. Even Bec – currently on her apology tour after weeks of atrocious behaviour – watches with concern.
“Tonight I noticed Juliette is really nasty,” she winces.
Big call coming from Bec.
To quote a passage from the book of Instagram Spirituality: two things can be true at the same time. We don’t enjoy Joel – his entry onto this show has been one big audition to become meme famous. But also, Juliette is cruel and manipulative.
“I literally just vomited in my mouth. That’s absolute nonsense. She’s totally twisted my words,” Joel tells his cast of supporting actors.
Juliette – fuelled by superiority and self-righteousness, which are the most intoxicating drugs on earth – continues ridiculing her husband.
“How embarrassing – he looks like a shitty husband. He went on the defence and tried to throw ME under the bus and make me look bad,” she spits. “That’s not a real man.”
Joel’s calm and respectful responses only highlight the imperfections of Juliette’s claims.
“Do you have to put me down and devalue me in front of everyone?” he inquires.
With Joel defending himself, Juliette escalates.
“He’s giving ‘loser’,” she announces, deploying what she clearly believes is devastating Gen Z slang.
Then she brings up the teddy bear – the stuffed toy Joel brought with him on the experiment, which we speculate was another stunt to get the internet talking about him.
This is when Juliette delivers her main character moment and goes for a slam dunk that she believes will end with the crowd madly cheering and hoisting her up into the air.
“I actually like the teddy more than I like Joel. Teddy’s not a c**t to me like Joel is,” she states.
Well, of course the teddy’s not. If he was, the store would be called Toys R C**ts.
The room goes silent. The experts – watching it all unfold on CCTV in the basement – gasp.
“Oh my God. Did she just say that? So disrespectful,” expert Mel Schilling sighs.
“I am absolutely disgusted with this behaviour,” John Aiken concurs.
It’s unbelievable. This is what you get for marching to the beat of your own dildo drum.
Married at First Sight screens Sundays to Wednesdays on Three and Three Now