A MAFS husband lobs a shock allegation at the show’s sexpert – leaving the room stunned.
A MAFS husband lobs a shock allegation at the show’s sexpert — leaving the room stunned. James Weir recaps the conspiracy theory.
Married At First Sight’s token elderly contestant is publicly shamed for being a frigid narcissist, so he maturely retaliates by lobbing a conspiracy theory at the show’s resident sexpert, which is a bold move for an old man who hobbles around Trash Tower with the assistance of a Zimmer frame.
Sex Week continues to deliver total unsexiness. One rejected wife steals all her husband’s toilet paper. Another wife just … leaves – sans Sorbent. And somewhere in the middle of it all, a geriatric groom decides to pick a fight with an expert by suggesting she’s wearing a wire.
It’s enough to make you choke on your barley sugar.
It’s the morning after Ultimate Fantasy Night – a task that prompted our ladies to surprise their husbands with an evening of raciness. Some are still untangling themselves from elaborate lingerie. And others? Well. Let’s just say it’s unfortunate that Myer doesn’t allow you to return G-strings.
We hear a commotion coming from the suite of the token elderly couple, Rebecca and Steve. Maybe one of them has had a fall? At first we’re worried and start yelling through the door for them to press the emergency button on their SOS pendants. But when we bust in, we find something far more troubling.
Last night, we watched as Rebecca tried to woo Steve with a sexy librarian costume, only to be rejected. But something happened when the cameras stopped rolling.
“I’m done. I came here because I actually thought this would work for me … He was like, ‘Oh that’s f****** bulls***’,” Rebecca fumes to us as she recounts the dramatic scenes.
Turns out Steve accused her of coming on the show with ulterior motives.
“I don’t need free skincare or a free dress – I can buy my own s***!” she yells.
Yeah! She has tons of superannuation cash to spend on Olay Regenerist and F. Miller!
Meanwhile, Rachel – who was also sexually rejected last night – is ransacking the marital suite as she prepares to move out. Her revenge? Stealing all her husband’s toilet paper.
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “playing dirty”.
In what is quickly turning into a mass eviction, Brook has disappeared in the dark of night – abandoning her husband Chris with her villain arc. The woman has vanished without a trace … just like the vowel in her name.
In the downstairs conference room of Trash Tower, the husbands are assembled to debrief with sexpert Alessandra. And we watch as Grandpa Steve tries to control the narrative by trash-talking nan.
“We just had an argument, a falling out. I don’t think I’m doing a lot wrong, to be honest, I was just calling out a few things,” he snips with an aloof shrug. “And Rebecca can be quite obnoxious. So, I just told her to calm down. Rebecca’s just highly emotional and loud and rude. And quite crude, as well. Rebecca’s just a lot, in general.”
Well then. It certainly sounds like SOMEONE is the problem. SOMEONE is absolutely obnoxious.
He tells Alessandra about the fight that was sparked by the sexy librarian costume.
“Rebecca was saying the only reason she’s here is to find love, and I kinda called her out on that because I’m sure there are other reasons Rebecca’s here also,” he says.
Steve seems to mistake “passive-aggressive” for “diplomacy”.
Alessandra gives him a confused squint. “I feel like you’re skirting around my questions …”
Steve shrugs and gets defensive.
“Okay, well, I disagree with you. Ask me a question, and I’ll give you a genuine answer,” he dismisses.
Then he lobs a petty allegation at the sexpert.
“I don’t have an earpiece in my ear – I’m not waiting for someone to tell me what to say,” he remarks, a jab at the years-long conspiracy theories suggesting the experts are fed lines by producers.
It’s a disparaging taunt that he tries to hide with faux innocence. He thinks he’s gotten away with it. But this sexpert pulls out her metaphorical whip and fluffy handcuffs.
The camera cuts to a shocked Alessandra. She pauses for a moment – presumably waiting for one of the producers in her earpiece to feed her a response.
Then, she firmly addresses the elderly man who’s behaving like a child.
“Honestly, the lack of respect that you’re showing me as someone who’s here to help guide you is appalling,” she says, before issuing a warning. “Really tread lightly – I don’t take to this well.”
Steve insists he wasn’t referring to her, but he’s lying through his veneers.
“Who else would you be referring to? Honestly, it’s so absurd,” Alessandra sighs.
She threatens to cancel his Meals on Wheels service.
When Steve returns to his Trash Tower suite, he finds Rebecca, and they immediately dive back into the argument about the sexy librarian costume. We hate when nan and pop fight. Why can’t they just go back to watching reruns of Spicks and Specks?
“It’s not something I would do in real life, let alone on TV!” Steve says of the racy task.
Rebecca is baffled. “But we’re on Married At First Sight?!”
Um, yeah, Steve. Did you even watch this show before signing up? If you’re not comfortable wearing an elephant face G-string on TV that has a trunk where the pouch is, this game ain’t for you.
“I’m not going to put on a show – making it look like a soft porn!” he declares.
Okay. Well, maybe you can join the cast of Old People’s Home for 4-Year-Olds.
He decides he’ll vacate the suite. But not before issuing one final passive-aggressive insult.
“At least you can be yourself now. You can give them the TV gold you’ve been holding back on!” he mocks his wife.
And then he shuffles out on his Zimmer frame.
Married at First Sight screens Sundays to Wednesdays on Three and Three Now