Nikita lost her temper at the dinner party as she tried to defend Alexis. Photo / Discovery
It's week two and the week we meet the last two couples for the season, they get married, honeymoon and then chaos ensues. It is MAFS after all.
Tayah and Adam were matched by our experts and holy moly, you have never seen such a perfect match. They immediately hit it off (after Adam mistook Tayah for her bridesmaid) and lust was in the air, baby.
Boy, was it electric.
"Look, we're shagging like rabbits alright," Tayah giggled to the confession cam during their honeymoon.
They couldn't keep their hands off each other and on their final night of the honeymoon, they did something you wouldn't believe. They said I LOVE YOU!
No, I'm not kidding, these two love birds fell hard and fast.
"You've made my life everything I've ever sort of wanted," Adam gushed.
"I'm just so excited to spend the rest of our lives together," said Tayah, who had a grin on her bigger than the joker.
So now that you've had the good news, are you ready for the bad?
Alexis and Jordan were the final couple to be paired and it was explosive. But not in a good way.
Their wedding seemed as good as it could get, there was kissing, bonding and deep gazes into each other's eye but by the time they went on their honeymoon that vibe had disappeared.
Jordan organised a water activity – which was strike one because Alexis hates the water, she ended up calling him a "prick" and a "f****** child" and it didn't get any better from there.
"You're a nice girl, you don't need to speak like that," Jordan told Alexis at their dinner later and obviously she, a self-respecting woman, did not take it well because she will speak however she bloody well likes, Jordan.
Our two other couples from last week also went on their honeymoon and we start with Franky and Marilyse.
Franky said he had picked an activity.
"It's something I'm skilled at and you won't be and I'll be laughing at you all day long basically."
It was enough for me to want to cancel him because I don't have time for emotionally abusive behaviour like his, but I persisted for the good of the recap.
They went mountain biking and Franky constantly yelled at Marilyse to go faster, later saying: "Obviously Frank the tank had more stamina." And I'm not sure what was more gross, hearing him refer to himself in the third person or seeing him degrade Marilyse any chance he got.
Amy and Josh's honeymoon started out rocky, with Josh telling the confession cam: "I'd say Amy is quite needy and needs a lot of attention and I think that's a problem for me to be honest."
On night one Josh put a pillow wall between them and no it wasn't because he thought Amy had cooties but because he wanted to play the game 'please don't touch me' which obviously hurt Amy's feelings.
They then went on a boat ride, got a bit honest with each other and in the deep blue ocean water they found their groove.
"I am so tired right now but for good reason let's just say it was worth the wait." Amy cheekily grinned.
Boy oh boy was this week a doozy.
Megan's insecurities shone as she asked literally everyone when they arrived at the group's first dinner party if they were happy in their relationships, later crying because they were and she wasn't. It was hard for Bob, who wasn't sure why he wasn't enough for her.
Nikita noticed Alexis was not okay as soon as she walked in and the self-proclaimed "girl's girl" was out for blood.
Ain't nobody treating her girl like a divvy. No way.
At the dinner table, Bob had a beautiful speech, and it did not go unnoticed that Megan cringed the whole time. "That was so waffly," she told him.
"No it's was good, Bob, it was good," hype man Adam pipped up from across the table.
And then things got real.
Nikita started taking low blows at Alexis' partner Jordan: "I think you're punching if I'm quite honest," she squawked.
Jordan tried not to bite but by then the damage was well and truly done. Nikita had gone too far.
She absolutely lost it and had to be escorted out of the room while her partner Ant relinquished to the table: "Do you now understand what I'm dealing with".
Once it all calmed down, Megan now thought she might have a thing for Jordan, while Ant and Alexis were on a whole vibe of their own with lots and I mean LOTS of flirting.
Daniel and Matt's absence was noted but thankfully they called Morag to say they were making the most of their honeymoon and would be back soon.
Ooh la la mon cherie.
Finally, we got to the first commitment ceremony and someone, well, rather two people, were hiding a secret.
After dinner, Jordan and Megan shared a kiss. My jaw hit the floor.
Megan didn't tell Bob before the ceremony and even made Bob feel bad for being himself all while she sat there smugly.
Here are the commitment ceremony hot takes:
Ant and Nikita: The two struggled to bond and after a very explosive dinner party, Nikita was asked to leave the experiment which unfortunately meant Ant had to as well.
Adam and Tayah: Yup, you guessed it, more in love than ever before. "Since meeting Adam, I genuinely feel like I've been on cloud nine." Tayah gushed. These two might go the distance.
Josh and Amy: There are still a few things these two need to work through like Amy's insecurities, but Josh seems willing and so does she. I'm hopeful.
Luke and Morag: "She's told me she doesn't fancy me not just once but a few times and that killed me," Luke told the experts and guys. Does that not just break your heart? But they both want to keep trying so it's only up from here.
Franky and Marilyse: The experts addressed the power dynamic at play and Franky did not like it one bit. I hope there is a close eye kept on him because he is yucky.
Bob and Megan: They both decided to stay but how will Megan really move forward with Bob if her secret isn't addressed?
Jordan and Alexis: "I didn't know if she was gonna hit me if I'm honest," Jordan said about their honeymoon, and at that moment it was all over.
Gaslighting at its finest.
Soon after, Jordan dropped the bomb about his kiss with Megan. "What a bitch." Bob said.
"It's disgusting," Alexis shouted.
Bob walked out, the lads followed him assuring him he had done nothing wrong and when he finally came back inside and everyone was ready to talk civilly, Megan half-heartedly apologised, Alexis and Jordan left the experiment and our expert Paul brought calm to the group.
"One thing we all have to acknowledge is we all make mistakes."
I think we call all admit week two was a bit intense.
Come back next week to find out how our couples recover.
• Married at First Sight UK screens Tuesday-Friday, 7.30 on Three
The film explores themes of survival and humanity during societal collapse.