KEY POINTS:
News that Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is embarrassed that a briefing paper presented to Australian media this week paints El Leader, Helen Clark, as controlling, distrusting and out of touch has been revealed on the NZ Herald website.
The briefing notes reportedly use words like "discipline," "tight
control," and "managerial" to describe Clark's rein and suggests her views on foreign policy were "forged during the Vietnam War."
It says she "does not trust those outside a small circle," and adds, "chief of staff Heather Simpson is known as the second most powerful person in NZ (known as H2)."
The Rudd chudd is a bit rich, don't you think? The file was reportedly collated when John Howard was in office, which if true, seems bizarre that Rudd would even consider using it. After all, so many of his policies appear to be in direct contrast to what Howard was advocating.
So, we decided to do some researching ourselves and have leaked our own Kevin Rudd briefing notes. Everything you need to know about the Aussie leader:
Age: 50
Job history: Cleaned TV star Laurie Oakes' house, worked in embassies in Sweden and China, Premier's chief of staff, consultant on all things Chinese to law firm, leader of the Labor Party, Prime Minister of Australia.
Family: Married to Therese Rein; three kids: Jessica (24), Nicholas (22), and Marcus (15).
Education: Marist College, Nambour State High School, Australian National University where he majored in Chinese language and Chinese history.
Nicknames: "Ruddslide," "Kehwen Wud" and "People Pleaser".
Collects: Opinion polls and compliments.
Passions: New York strip clubs, leading the parliamentary prayer group, apologising to indigenous Australians.
Pet peeves: Artwork by Bill Henson and sucking up to schlebs like Cate Blanchett for the 2020 Summit who support the porno photographer's freedom of expression.
Fondest memory: Saluting George Bush, and dissing the Queen during the oath of office speech by blatantly omitting her name, then popping in for tea and biscuits with her four months later.
Big dream: Maintaining conflicting Christian views and confusing the hell out of Christians throughout Australia, such as opposing same-sex marriage, yet, supporting abortion-inducing drugs. Women vs gays - it's a numbers game, right?
Rachel Glucina
Pictured above: Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd and New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark at Government House in Auckland after speaking about climate change to a large group at Sky City Conference Centre in Auckland City. Photo / Greg Bowker