Kid rock

Having energy, talent and the ability to entertain under-5s is not enough to guarantee fame as the Funky Monkeys (far left, Chris Lam Sam, Joe McNamara and Neil Tolan) have found. Photo / Sarah Ivey

It's a mosh pit in miniature. A hundred pop fans jostle around the edge of the stage, jumping, dancing, clapping, screaming, waving their arms, singing along.

Occasionally someone surges forward, a hand flies out of the mass and wallops someone on the head, a raver is shoved aside, a foot gets stomped, someone falls over and howls in pain or indignation. But mostly they're all too swept up in the ecstasy of the moment to mind a few stray elbows. This isn't your usual mosh pit. For one thing, no one is spinning under the influence of a mind-altering substance, except for maybe a dose of Ritalin here and there. Nor is there a black T-shirt in sight.

Instead they're a rainbow of red, green, blue, pink. Especially pink. And not one of them is over 1.5m tall. Up on the stage are three children's heroes (for the day, at least): a trio of blokes in bright costumes, springing around the wooden floor of the utilitarian Pukekohe Town Hall as if it's a giant trampoline, earnestly singing about apples, bananas, heads, shoulders, knees, toes, please, thank you, bubbles and other pressing childhood issues.

The trio have been doing these shows for six years - longer than most of their fans have been alive - performing many hundreds of gigs, from Pumpkin Night at Tamahere School to Christmas in the Park in the Auckland Domain. They reckon 750,000 New Zealanders have seen them live.

Last year - their first as full-time children's entertainers - they did 130 performances and won the inaugural New Zealand Children's Music Video of the Year Award. They've recorded two CDs and filmed a DVD. Some of the kids in the hall today know all the words to all their songs. But they're the Funky Monkeys, not The Wiggles, so you've probably never heard of them.

You have, of course, heard of The Wiggles. Any New Zealander with children of a certain age - and thousands of people without - knows far more than they need to about The Wiggles. They can probably name them all, even the new guy. And their colours. And their friends. And their idiosyncrasies. And sing a few bars (admit it).

Even childless nonagerians have probably at least stumbled across one of the eponymous Australian quartet's daytime TV shows. It's safe to say The Wiggles are the pioneers of the modern children's rock band. They have practically created their own industry in their 18 years together - they've sold more than 30 million DVDs and CDs worldwide and are Australia's top-earning performers.

In the 2007/2008 financial year they brought in AU$45 million ($57 million), more than Kylie Minogue. This in an era of plummeting sales for the music industry. The Wiggles even have a theme park on the Gold Coast and their own brands of Band-Aids and baby wipes. In March they toured New Zealand for the first time in four years, selling out shows all over the country at ticket prices of $25-$30. (The Funky Monkeys are charging $12.50 for their healthily patronised but not sold-out Pukekohe show.)

A distant but still highly profitable second in popularity are The Wiggles' compatriots Hi-5, pioneers of the boy/girl band for children. Their producers earned AU$18 million from them in the 2007/08 year and they usually sell out when they perform in New Zealand. (Unlike The Wiggles, who've astutely retained their rights, the Hi-5 performers are hired hands who don't see much of the profits.)

So if The Wiggles can earn an estimated $1.2 million in 10 days in New Zealand, the Funky Monkeys and their fellow Kiwi children's entertainment groups, the Plops and the Polkadots, must clean up during the other 355 days of the year, right? Er, no. So go on then, name the three members of the Funky Monkeys, probably the best-known of the New Zealand groups. And their sidekick. And their signature colours. And their most popular songs.

If you can't, you're not alone. And therein lies the struggle for New Zealand's answers to The Wiggles and Hi-5. The Hamilton-based Funky Monkeys, whose target market is 2- to 8-year-olds, are not lacking in credentials. For the record, they are Chris Lam Sam, Joe McNamara and Neil Tolan, their sidekick is Dizzy Dog, they dress in orange and white, and Apples, Oranges and Bananas and The Thank You Song are among their best-known tunes.

Like The Wiggles, they have back-grounds in teaching and playing in bands. Lam Sam is a primary school teacher with a degree in musical composition, McNamara is a tertiary music teacher and former punk-ska-folk band musician, and Tolan is a 15-year veteran youth worker who has previously performed in comedy bands.

A mutual friend, Hans Bouter, who runs a video production company, came up with the idea. He saw a gap in the market and approached McNamara and Tolan. "I was sort of dubious at first, to be honest," says McNamara, though there were clearly more opportunities in children's entertainment than what he was doing. "You don't have to be in the punk-ska market for long to see there's not much future in it." Tolan was more easily convinced.

Part of his job at the Hamilton City Council involved organising children's events and he'd found it a struggle to find good entertainment. "There were plenty of clowns but no bands." Tolan roped in Lam Sam, who he'd met through his youth work, and the group was born. That was 2003. In March last year they gave up their day jobs to launch themselves into their children's performance careers full time.

Shortly afterwards a record deal fell apart when the distribution company pulled out. It was a rocky start, but they stuck to the decision. It just meant they had to rely on the hard work of touring. When asked whether they make much of a living, Lam Sam, the only father in the Funky Monkeys, demurs. "We make a humble wage. It's great we can survive, we're happy, our families are happy. That's all I can say without wanting to be too specific." Mother-of-four Raquel Sims, creator of the Wellington group The Plops, says it's not about the money. It couldn't be. "We'd be very sad and very depressed if that's what we were in it for." They often perform in lower socio-economic areas for just a gold coin donation.

Sims set up the group in 2004 when she was on maternity leave from her flight attendant job and wondering if she could find a career that would better fit with motherhood. She drew on her background in acting and music and came up with The Plops (yes, the group acknowledges that the name prompts a bit of toilet humour from the kids but they're sticking to it). She confesses to having been inspired by The Wiggles, who she says helped her eldest child Ethan when he was battling with chronic asthma as a toddler. "His eyes would light up every time they were on TV. They brought a lot of joy to him. I just couldn't quite believe how much impact they had on his life, and I thought, 'I want to do the same'. But of course I didn't want to copy them."

Unlike the Funky Monkeys, The Plops are a character-based group, with suave superhero Wonder Wertle, animal-loving Carey Cowboy, dreamy Fiona Fairy and clever tomboy Captain Spacey Sue. Sims based the characters on theories of basic personality types. The premise is that children should be able to identify with at least one of them. The group, which targets 2-to 6-year-olds, has since performed up and down the country.

When Canvas interviewed Sims, the group was preparing to record a music video. Their biggest gig so far has been the Wellington Teddy Bears Picnic, at which the Funky Monkeys have also performed. It draws crowds of up to 7000. "It hasn't been easy," says Sims. "When we started we thought, 'This is such a great concept, this is such a hit with kids that this is going to take off.' It didn't." Sims' current cast is actress Jessica Manins, television and theatre crewman Michael Mercer, musical theatre actor Jeremy Dowling and singer and performing arts teacher Liz Fa'alogo.

Sims plays several sidekicks. Last year she made the group into a co-operative so any profits are shared, which helps to keep the players committed. Some earlier performers left as they lost heart. Sims hasn't. 'We've stuck at it and stuck at it." But she says there are moments of frustration. "Everyone's just Wiggle-a-fied. They dominate the market. It's a little bit annoying when you're just down the road and some big hotshot stadium event planners get someone over from Australia.

It's the New Zealand mentality. I don't know why that is." She says people have hung up on her when she's quoted them $1200 for a day's worth of entertainment. But, she points out, that's pretty cheap for four performances by five professionals who've spent "hours, days, weeks" practising. The Funky Monkeys say being professional children's entertainers doesn't always command respect. "People don't tend to take kids' music quite as seriously, and I think they should," says McNamara.

"People think, 'So-and-so knows how to play the guitar, we'll bring him to the party and get him to entertain the kids."' The Polkadots, a group of young North Shore mothers and mothers-to-be, are comparative newcomers to the industry, and they're under no illusions of overnight success. "No one's heard of even the Funky Monkeys," says creator Carly Tata, to illustrate the difficulties of making a name for yourself in the New Zealand market. Tata created the group.

An early childhood teacher for 10 years, she returned from her OE in late 2007 with an itch to do something else with her qualifications and experience. She started playing around with developing New Zealand-flavoured resources for preschool teachers and parents, based on the national curriculum. Music was an obvious tool for the confident singer to use. She wrote some songs, roped in her sister Dionne Shaw, sister-in-law Desiree Reid, and old friend Sarah Midgely - with whom she'd been singing for years - to record a CD, and the concept evolved from there. "The music took on a life of its own," says Tata.

"There was a real need - people wanted New Zealand stuff. We figured, 'let's just give this a chance'." It helped that Reid was also a graphic designer and trained dancer. Branding: tick. Choreography: tick. And they had half a dozen daughters between them, now aged 7 months to 3 years. Test audience: tick. Also, the other two were beauty therapists. Impeccable grooming: tick. "We play [a new song] to [our daughters] first," says Tata. "If they have no response or haven't started singing it by the end of the day, we know it's not a winner."

Word of mouth helped push them along and they started performing in charity concerts late last year, aimed at children aged 6 months to 5 years. They've since recorded another CD and two DVDs. But Tata is conscious that children and pregnancies limit opportunities to expand the concept through live performances and touring, unless they hire others to do the performing.

For now she's happy keeping live performances as just a part of a package that includes other resources, including several children's books written by Tata's mother, Pamela Reid.

So what do The Wiggles and Hi-5 have that the Funky Monkeys, The Plops and The Polkadots don't? Millions of dollars. And television. Both Australian groups found mass audiences through TV shows. Hi-5 was created as a TV programme by a producer for the ABC.

For The Wiggles TV was a harder game to buy into. It took them eight years to get on the small screen, and then only because they produced their own show and managed to sell it to two channels. Then they finally took off. The three New Zealand groups are conscious that television is the key to really cracking the market. Says McNamara from the Funky Monkeys: "People take you more seriously when you're on TV. As soon as we get a TV show it'll be fantastic. We'll be in everyone's homes." Says Sims: "In New Zealand if you're on TV you're worth going to see. You're not anybody unless you've been on TV."

Both The Plops and the Funky Monkeys have been working with television production companies for years to try to secure a regular TV show (the newer Polkadots are interested in the idea but haven't yet made any moves in that direction). The Funky Monkeys have already recorded five music videos that TV networks use as fillers and are hoping this will be the year of their lucky break. They are currently putting the finishing touches to a proposal to New Zealand on Air for funding for a regular show. The Plops, though, have all but given up on New Zealand television. Sims says they've been disappointed in the past by promising leads that haven't materialised. They waited for more than two years for one opportunity to be confirmed. "But they're always putting us on hold."

So now they're preparing pitches for the Australian TV industry, with the idea that a show could be filmed locally. Programmers for both TV3 and TVNZ told Canvas they were open to the idea of screening a local programme of similar format to those of The Wiggles or Hi-5. "In theory, there is no reason a show like this couldn't get up and running in NZ," says Kelly Martin, TV3's programming director. "Having said that, TV3 is unlikely to support a show like this for funding over the next 12 to 18 months - our allocated budget for local children's shows is committed."

TV2 says such a programme would need to be a collaborative effort between TV2 and New Zealand On Air. "Without making any commitment for New Zealand On Air, TV2 would be very happy to have New Zealand's answer to Hi-5 and the Wiggles, should the right opportunity present itself," says programming chief John Kelly.

In the meantime, all three New Zealand groups say the positive reactions they get from their audiences keep them motivated. Their motives are sincere - they talk about "giving something back", "clean, safe and wholesome entertainment", the "massive smiles" from the children, "the joy it brings", "building self-esteem in young children". McNamara says there are huge rewards, even if they're not monetary.

"You see things happening, like a kid learning which way's left and which way's right. It's hard to have that impact as an adult band." He tells of a recent Hamilton show where the kids were belting out their songs. "It was a little bit of Beatlemania, and we thought, 'wow'." Sims says the most important thing is to believe in what they're doing. "As long as we can stay true to our sincerity and why we're doing this, then success will follow ... It'd be nice to be as successful as The Wiggles. If we had the funding, the things we could do ..."

By the end of the show in Pukekohe the kids are buzzing around as if they've each just sculled three cans of Coke. The traditional Funky Monkey finale is to shower their audience in bubbles. Few children remain seated. Gavin Bell has brought along his 4-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Ariane. She's a Funky Monkeys aficionado who has their CD at home and knows all the words. "I like the cowboy song," she says. Dad is also impressed. "I love the way they get them up, moving and dancing. They have a lot of energy. The Wiggles are good but I think it's really good to have a local group."

Other notable New Zealand children's performers

Craig Smith joint winner of last year's inaugural APRA Children's Song of the Year award with The Wonky Donkey Song from his 2007 children's album Not Just for Kids. He also writes songs with an easy-listening, folk, blues and country style for adults.

Claudia Gunn the other joint winner, for Lullaby Time, a song she wrote for her toddler, Dylan. She is the vocalist in electronic soul act Substax.

Fatcat & Fishface two Wellington women who've produced six comic musical albums for children with a cheeky, Roald Dahl-esque bent.

Jelly Deluxe
Producers of popular albums BabyJazz and BabyDub. Cool music for young kids that doesn't drive their parents mad.

Love to Sing
Top-selling CDs and DVDs of children's action songs, sung by children. Created by Auckland early-childhood teacher Linda Adamson.

Jay Laga'aia
Australia-based Laga'aia is probably New Zealand's most successful children's musician, though he is better known for his acting. Tours regularly in his adopted country with his "Jay's Place" act and has a CD and DVD distributed by ABC.

The Aunties a children's musical theatre group formed in 1982. Based in Auckland's North Shore, they've produced 25 albums of original songs.

* The Funky Monkeys perform at the Thames War Memorial Hall on May 30, the Matamata Memorial Centre on May 31 and the Rose Centre at Belmont on Auckland's North Shore on June 1. Visit www.theplops.co.nz, www.polkadots.co.nz and www.thefunkymonkeys.co.nz.