Kerre McIvor: A good line to draw in the sand

Eminem's rap is violent and anti-women, but his work reflects his reality. Photo / AP

Years ago, when my child started secondary school, she wanted an Eminem CD. Twelve months earlier, we'd queued to see the premiere of the Spice Girls movie.

In the space of a year she went from wanting to be a Spice Girl to listening to a man who sneered that he couldn't decide which Spice Girl he wanted to impregnate first.

A big evolutionary leap, musically speaking. Still, things move quickly in adolescence.

I think it was Marshall Mathers' first major release, recorded as Slim Shady. There was a lot of controversy - radio stations had to bleep out so many words the rapping became incoherent.

Family values organisations were calling for it to be banned, and there were concerns about the violence of the lyrics - specifically against women and gay men.

The CD was given an R16 rating and as my daughter was only 13 she needed my permission to buy it. We had a discussion about the rights and wrongs of buying it. Initially, I held firm - when she could afford to buy her own stereo and pay for the power to run it, then she could buy it - the usual parental shtick.

Honestly. Stereo? CD? Anyone would think I'm talking about 100 years ago, not 10.

I told her I didn't want her to listen to misogynistic rants at such a young age in case those views influenced her own thinking. I didn't want her to think of herself as a 'ho or a bitch, completely worthless unless she pleased her man.

She gave me the sort of withering stare the parents of pubescent girls know well.

"If you think one CD is going to undo all the values you have taught me, you clearly aren't terribly confident about the job you've done," she said.

She suggested I listen to it, so I did - and I thought the man was a genius. Yes, he was foul-mouthed and clearly had issues with women and was a very angry young man - but that was his reality.

He lived in a trailer park. He had a volatile relationship with the mother of his child. And he felt life had dealt him a crap hand. So that's what he rapped about.

I dithered and talked with her dad, then I let her get the CD. It doesn't appear to have done her long-lasting damage because she was married at 22 to a wonderful man who loves and respects her and the two of them are doing brilliantly.

The decision by the Warehouse to not stock R18 video games and DVDs reminded me of having to decide where to draw the line.

The Warehouse has also chosen to draw a line in the sand. But, unlike me, it has veered towards family values rather than liberalism. And I say good on them.

Chief executive Mark Powell watched excerpts from the recent Grand Theft Auto V, which contains graphic sex scenes and violence towards women, and that led to his decision. It was, he said, the right thing to do for a brand that reflected the values of family, children and the community.

He said it would cost the company up to $2 million worth of business.

People who rang talkback were overwhelmingly supportive, although one gamer felt it was censorship and said he was going to galvanise the gaming community to boycott Warehouse stores.

If he's the person behind the petition on change.org to get the Warehouse to overturn its ban, he has a bit of galvanising to do. As of Thursday night, it had only 11 signatures.

It's the Warehouse's right to decide what best fits its own and its customers' values.

And if people want graphic sex and violence, there are plenty of places they can find it.

Kerre McIvor is on Newstalk ZB, Monday to Thursday, 8pm-midnight