Keep lenses away from kids of celebrities

Dan and Honor Carter want their children kept out of the public's gaze. Photo / Richard Robinson

I sat down to write my column this week and a headline caught my eye: "Other celeb families rocked by tragedy", the headline read, and the story told of a number of musicians and actors who had lost children to illness or accidents.

This is a follow-up to the news that the 15-year-old son of Aussie rocker Nick Cave fell to his death from a cliff in Brighton. The loss of a child is a tragedy for any family, but as the article noted somewhat sanctimoniously: "It's even harder for public figures who must grieve with the world watching."

And it's a pain that would be revisited every time another child of another celebrity dies.

It seems grotesque that the media continues to capitalise on the offspring of celebrities, even unto death.

Some people love being in the public eye. They enjoy the trappings that come with being a public figure. Others hate it. They happen to be good at something - music, sport, acting - but their success is dependent on a public fan base.

So even if you're the best actor in the world, if you don't do the red carpets and you refuse to do the media interviews, you'll find it hard to be cast in movies. Similarly with pop stars. Unless you play nice with the tweenies, they'll slam you and refuse to buy your music.

In New Zealand, we don't have celebrities. The most we have are people whose names are relatively well known. Everyone knows your Mum and Dad or your siblings, and if you behave like a dick, your family will be merciless.

I love meeting people who listen to my radio show or read my columns - and the lovely couple in Kohukohu last weekend who remembered me from Fair Go. I was last on Fair Go 25 years ago.

I love getting hugs from people and posing for photos with them. If they're good enough to read what I have to say or listen to me on the wireless, it's good enough for me to hear what they have to say.

And people are generally pretty good about not taking up your time.

Other people I know in the media hate having people approach them.

They have all sorts of strategies to block people out and make it clear they'd rather rip out their body hair than make conversation with a stranger. That's fine; to each their own. But our level of public interaction is mild compared to what our sports stars get and if you're an All Black, it's a whole other stratosphere.

People either want to fight you, shag you or feign disdain.

Woe betide if you put a foot wrong. You'll be on YouTube before the hangover has kicked in. And heaven forfend that you want to keep your kids out of the public eye. That's just asking for snide comments and criticism.

Some people get that Honor and Dan Carter are protective of their children. When the Carter family was papped on a family outing recently and Woman's Day magazine published photos of their oldest boy, their lawyer sent a letter to the mag asking them to please not do it again. The couple wants to keep the spotlight away from their babies and I can understand why.

I was surprised, though, at the number of people who felt that because the children's parents had a public profile, the kids were fair game. When I had my daughter, 26 years ago, we were on the cover of the Woman's Weekly, but they were different times.

There was no such thing as the paparazzi. There was no competition among the women's mags and there was no expectation of being paid. It was an easy way to thank people who'd sent in knitted baby clothes and good wishes, and show them the baby.

A photographer came round to our home, took a few snaps.

These days, it's a different story and I can appreciate why the Carters want to protect their children. They may have sold their wedding story, but that was their choice. The story was about the two of them. Not the babies.

They haven't sold an "Our baby joy" story to the magazines and, as far as I know, they haven't posted any pictures of the children on social media.

They couldn't have made it more clear that although they accept they have limited privacy, they want the right for their children to grow up out of the public glare. Everyone loves looking at photos of cute kids. Especially the cute kids of well known people. Some people mark their children's every milestone with an update.

Some decide that Facebook is no place for their baby. We all decide the level of exposure we want our children to have. Surely it's the right of every "celeb" parent to choose to keep their babies out of the public domain.